A Time of Rebirth

today (still March 23 in Georgia here) is a most beautiful and healing Easter Sunday for me.

Honey and I spent it with what is now our new family, too, the family from our stepdad Larry's side. we not only got to know him and his world better, but we were introduced to real-life Southern charm, hospitality and warmth.

we went to church at Larry's brother Johnny's church at Pitt's Chapel in Macon, where Johnny is a Methodist minister of. Macon is two hours' drive away.

it was my first church service outside a Catholic church and it was beautiful, with the preacher's and choir's old-fashioned gowns and simple rituals and songs and sharing and sermon and all. i've attended services other than by Catholic priests but they were always in modern, big-city venues like office buildings or seminar halls or even beaches and gardens, but not in an old-fashioned wooden church building like Pitt's Chapel. think Laura Ingalls and The Little House on the Prairie and you'll get an idea of what i mean.

then, we went to a wonderfully delicious Old South home-cooked lunch at Johnny's wife's sister's home in a farm ensconced by forests. the dishes were delicious; i just couldn't memorize their names, though. they were made of simple everyday crops like squash and carrots and beans but they looked grand and tasted sumptous!

their house looked like those old Southern houses in the country one sees on tv or in films, where there are real wooden rocking chairs by the porch, and the distance from the porch to the kitchen is just 3 or 4 steps away, with all the rooms connecting to the kitchen and the dining room, where everyone gathers to talk, kid around, swap stories, or just say hi on the way in or out.

the children were running around in the wide yard, where there was an old-fashioned fountain made to look like a well with a tin pail pouring water into it. we got to chat with a pretty five-year-old named Olivia Grace, who sidled up to us as Honey and I were browsing the titles in their wall-length bookshelf. Olivia was excited by the fact that she gets to look for the Easter eggs all by herself, as all the rest of her cousins were boys and older and didn't seem interested (maybe she was the only one who still believed in Easter bunnies).

they welcomed us as more than guests and more like family, and it felt warm and good. i even joked and laughed with them, and they with me. it felt even better to realize that despite the differences in skin color and culture and even faith, we shared a common sense of humor about everyday life and witticisms.

it made me see, too, how living with such a warm, faith-centered joyful family could be like, and it made me think and dream of my own complete family again someday...

it is 6:07pm now and we're back home, and i feel refreshed and renewed, ready to take on new beginnings in my life.

Deliverance

my FREE I-Ching Reading today:

After a thunderstorm, or any period of extreme tension, a period of new clarity and fresh opportunity follows. The storm has the effect of clearing the air and suddenly reducing atmospheric tension. Deliverance is at hand. In the wake of a storm on land, deliverance appears in the form of new color and life, which bursts forth in all the fields and flowers. In the wake of a storm at sea, deliverance takes the form of land itself.

In the field of human relations, the rain of forgiveness washes the human landscape clean after a period of enmity and error. Great clarity of purpose and renewed vigor can follow the healing of old wounds. But care must be taken not to re-open these old wounds by moving too quickly. In the same way, it is important to return to normalcy first before moving ahead with new plans after periods of stress.

Following the resolution of a difficult situation, your first priority, should be to return to normal conditions as quickly as possible. Breathe a sigh of relief, but don't relax completely. It would be a mistake to re-awaken the sleeping dogs of the immediate past before the new situation has crystallized. Look ahead. Attend to any residual matters that need resolution, and do so as quickly as possible. Make a clean sweep of the past, move deliberately, and the future will bring good fortune.

3 Things

After all is said and done, there are only 3 things that really matter to me now:

1. Good health
2. Healthy, loving relationships
3. Work I love to do and that serves others, too

Today's Quote

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.

-Hans Hofman

Why Grief Doesn't Have to Hurt Forever

I found this article very moving and helpful. And it rings true for me, too, how I've been experiencing my father's and mother's recent deaths and their aftermaths...

This is the part that rings most true for me--

I now understood (that) if I could deal with the intense anguish from my mother’s death, I could now face any pain that would arise in a close, meaningful relationship. This allowed me to drop my guard and not allow fear to rule my interactions.


I hope it's as helpful to those reading this, too.

God bless us all.

The Butterfly Lady

Leave it to Mama to still generate free publicity even up to the end.

Read it here from the Atlanta Journal Constitution. :)

We had a beautiful funeral for her today (March 14, Atlanta time).

And I sang, too, the song I sang to her that morning she died. My first public debut solo singing performance, at 40! : )

Mama (May 20, 1943 - March 10, 2008)

i rarely sing, because i think my voice is off-key. but, i managed to sing to Mama again this morning, while i was alone with her in the hospital in the hour right after she passed on in her sleep at 6am, from cardiac arrest, the nurses said.

i was moved to sing to her a song she taught me when i was a little girl, and which i have never heard anywhere else in my life up to now, only from Mama.

When I grow to be a lady
I'll be a queen,
A lovely queen.

Walking in the garden shady
In gowns of green
With silver sheen.

Maids of gold and white shall follow me
and suitors of the high degree.

although my voice broke many times as i sang, i did not sing off-key today.

Goodbye, Mama.

a parable on exits and entrances

I've been reading this book I found in a used bookshop last Feb. 2, when Papa was still in the hospital. It has been helping me cope and come to terms with the struggle of his illness, and then his death, and mama's present illness too, and I hope you find the following parable as healing:

In Why Me?--

From "Gesher Hachayim" by Y. M. Tuckachinsky:

Imagine twins gestating in the mother's womb, speculating and challenging each other with the question, "What will happen to us after we leave the womb?" Since their entire frame of reference is the interior of the womb, there is no way they could conceive through their sense of sight or hearing what their future holds in store for them.

Suppose that one of the twins is a "believer", supported by his traditions that there is a future life in the next world, while the other brother, a "rationalist", accepts only what his logical mind perceives in the here and now. They each take firm stands and debate their respective positions with passion.

Basing his argument on a religious tradition that he is heir to, the believer maintains that when they exit from the womb they will be reborn into a life that is not limiting, that they will eat through their mouths and not be fed through their navels, that they will see a great distance, that they will hear through the funny things on the sides of the head they call ears. Feet will be straightened and they will be walking erect great distances on this planet Earth, in which deep oceans and gentle streams flow, nourishing all living things. Above them will be the wide expanse of heaven containing a golden sun, a silvery moon, and twinkling stars.

The rational twin roars with laughter at his brother, the simpleton. "Incredulous! Are you for real? No one has ever come back from the other side to tell us. It's all a myth. All we know is what our senses perceive, the objective facts that can be tested. Aside from this womb and its limits, the rest is subjective and has no basis in reality. What do you think will happen when you die?" presses the skeptic.

"Clearly," his believing brother answers, "when we exit the space of this world, we will enter into another world."

"Fool!" snaps his brother. "You will fall into an abyss from which you will never return. You will be annihilated as if you've never been."

Suddenly the water in the womb bursts. The rounded womb begins to shake and writhe. The believer makes a precipitous descent, is expelled, and gone from his brother's view.

The rationalist is shocked by his brother's fate and bemoans the tragedy that has befallen him. As he laments his brother's misfortune, he hears a piercing cry and loud shouts from the darkness into which his brother has disappeared. His fears of a terrible end are confirmed.

The skeptical brother is unaware that his supposed dead brother has entered into an exciting new world and that his own turn is near. The wail that he heard was a cry of a baby's health and the commotion was a chorus of congratulations from the doctors and nurses.

From the limited perspective of the fetus left temporarily behind in the womb, his brother had indeed died. He had been brutally torn from the unfamiliar world that provided protection, warmth, and nurture and hurled into the black pit of oblivion and annihilation.

From a larger view, that same event is called "birth". It represents a transition from a smaller world to a larger world, from a world bounded by the womb, where it passively received, to a wide, wide world where activity and free choice and responsibility open one to limitless possibilities.

my first snow

i watched my first snow gently falling this morning, right after i woke up and had breakfast. on this international day of celebration for women, too! : )

i consider it a most welcome sign from the heavens, considering the challenges i've been through lately, with papa's month-long hospitalization and eventual demise, and now, mama's own more-than-a-month long hospitalization here now at the Southern Regional Hospital in Riverdale, Georgia...

my life's been on hold since then. i just live each day as it comes. one can't really make plans when everything is up in the air and constantly changing...

i can't even make plans for the next day, because each new day that unfolds is always an adventure and a roller-coaster ride with mama. in their own way, these days are special and meaningful and enriching for my relationship with her, and for our souls, although they are very challenging, too... with her memory loss, and diabetes, kidney and heart complications... i am continually called to pour out more loving, and more emptying, than i thought i had it in me to give.

one never knows if each day is the end, or the beginning. most times, it is both.

***

still, better, happier, more stable and hopeful times are coming, my gentle March snow flurries are telling me, in this time between the thawing of winter and the budding of spring.

thank you, God, for this sweet reminder.

One more time for Papa (Nov. 3, 1938- Feb. 20, 2008)

a sax player will play the tune to this tomorrow, at Papa's funeral.

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, Ill say it clear,
Ill state my case, of which Im certain.

Ive lived a life thats full.
Ive traveled each and evry highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

Ive loved, Ive laughed and cried.
Ive had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!

the other tune he will play is Julio Iglesias' "To All the Girls I've Loved Before". : )

Goodbye, Papa.

I will never forget the lessons you taught, and you will always be in my heart.

In Blackwater Woods

by Mary Oliver, American Primitive (Little, Brown and Co., 1984)

Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars

of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,

the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders

of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is

nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

Love remains

one of the last things Mama was doing before she had her stroke was to search the Internet for an electric wheelchair she could charge to her Medicare and send to Papa. one of her last emails to me "complained" about having to fill out so many forms online it made her head ache and her body tired... although it was palpably obvious from her tone that she was enjoying feeling useful and powerful and in some sort of control and significant contribution, too, for a change.

in the last few days here, too, during one of Papa's few waking and lucid moments, he would talk about how it was when Mama gave birth to my sister, Honey, 38 years ago, and was in critical condition due to complications. he would recall snippets of events, like how a nun came up to him and asked for donations, when he was hard pressed to pay for the hospital bills, and how the nun was so obnoxiously aggressive he snapped at her and even told her that if she weren't a nun he would slap her. (that's Papa, alright! :S ) he also recalled how he felt so scared and stressed looking for Mama's Type AB blood all over the city, and even had blood chartered in from Cebu just to save her. the other day, when Honey was with him, he finally asked how Mama was doing in Georgia, and Honey, without really telling him Mama just had a stroke and is in critical condition, told him how she's in the hospital too and suffering so.

...

actually, despite their polar differences in many ways and their stormy 22-year marriage (i can never recall a day of complete peace and rest, it was either up or down, amplified to the nth degree), they are also essentially alike: stubborn, willful, and passionate fighters both who won't take sh_t from anyone.

my brother, Tope, and i, recently texted about this and shared how they also basically just differed in how they expressed these same qualities: she, positively; he, negatively so. we even half-joked in our commiseration: maybe they both are really destined to be together, after all. true soulmates. : )

or maybe, we just want to comfort ourselves and make ourselves feel better with this thought, too.

somehow, though, i have started to sleep well and peacefully again.

Love remains.

in the end, or whatever happens now, i sleep with this knowing.

Love remains.

this may be their finest legacy to us three. after all is said and done and all the detours and journeys taken all around, up and down--

Love remains.

Papa and Mama

it's touch and go for Papa and Mama today.

after a bout of lucidity and extreme talkativeness yesterday afternoon, Papa's blood sugar fell dangerously low last night, his lowest ever, and he is now back to semi-sedation.

Mama hasn't come out of her drugged sleep yet for two days now. She's still in the ICU and they're also still doing dialysis on her even while she sleeps.

today would have been their 42nd wedding anniversary, if they hadn't ended their marriage in 1988.

i had difficulty sleeping again last night. until i let the hot tears flow.

it is always easier to sleep after a good, long cry.

questions of the heart

both Papa and Mama are currently in separate hospitals, with Mama in the ICU for her third stroke and Papa just out of surgery for left leg amputation due to diabetes complications-- another and more serious bout of the life-threatening diseases they both seemed to have collected separately after their marriage broke down, 20 years ago.

i go through the motions of making my visits and calls, but i don't really know what to say or do to ease their pain.

i just show up. i figure, somehow, i hope my visits and calls still help.

the other day, i found a used book for sale in the mall, something on change, loss and grief, and im reading it to help me, so i can help them, if i still can.

and then, there are the questions of my heart...

seeing them in pain breaks my heart so, is it better that they continue to live, or die now?

what are their lives about, then?

and who am i (again)?

what is my life about (again)?

what is Life about, then?

these questions haunt me most especially when im in bed at night, should be falling asleep, but can't.

...

they haunt me too, during the day, especially when im alone, driving.

it doesn't help that that day one week ago Papa was to be undergoing surgery and needing Type A+ blood, and it fell upon me to look for the blood, and in my nervousness, i also went in for fasting blood sugar testing, and i recently went back for my tests and found i had 221 mg/dL when the normal range is only 70-110 mg/dL!

more questions assail me...

does that mean im diabetic now too? (both Papa and Mama are)

what if i go their way soon?

what will happen to me?

who will take care of my kids?

what about B and i, and our long and lasting love?

...

i try to take even better care of my self now-- eating more healthily, exercising more regularly, meditating more often, feeding my mind only positive things and consciously thinking positively but-- i am also feeling so onion-skinned these days. sometimes i dread having people so close by. i am afraid that if they just so much as touch me by accident, i would totally come undone.

it's a struggle just holding my self together these days. i feel like a Lego toy with the plug-in parts all loose and unwieldy.

these days, i just want to stay even more at home, and just be close to my kids, and B...


where do i go from here, dear heart?

The Universe is Funny

for around 6 weeks now, as part of my meditations and daily affirmations, i've been creatively visualizing for a certain amount of money to flow into my life, not because i need it desperately but because it would sure help to pay off some things im currently just paying installment on, plus a few other little dreams which would really be nice if they came quicker, like visiting Mama again for her birthday in May, but with all my kids this time.

anyway, after a couple of weeks of trying out and finetuning my affirmation to aid me in my visualization, this was the affirmation i finally came up with that i was comfortable with and that resonated with me--

Thank you, God, for the $nnnnn.nn already in my life right now, quickly and effortlessly! This, or something better.

-- even as i creatively visualized my self receiving the money in a small bag i already have prepared, and going around paying off accounts happily, and having my kids and i happily boarding the plane to Atlanta and having happy times with Mama and Larry.

as what usually happens in the manifesting process, certain little "signs of land" start appearing. like my receiving in the mail two new credit cards i don't even remember applying for, but whose credit limit would allow me and the kids to already fund our one-way trip to Atlanta!

i said thank you of course to the Universe, and also reminded her that please, no more debts okay, pure income and cash would be so much more appreciated!

then Papa got hospitalized last Jan. 16, and is still in the hospital up to now, from diabetes complications. first, he was just admitted to have his 3 left small toes amputated but ended up with his needing to have his whole left leg amputated and needing a significant amount of blood transfusion. he is still recovering slowly up to now, but he seemed better yesterday, than the last 5 days after the major leg amputation.

anyway, the point is, because of Papa's health crisis, it fell upon me to temporarily manage his finances and make sure they are alright. so my last two weeks have been mostly spent going to banks and dealing with people there and counting money, either for deposit or for withdrawal.

another major "sign of land"! : ) i recognized that early on. i said to my self, thank you God, for this sign of land, further leading me to the manifesting of my heart's desire! i get to practice counting huge sums of money again and feel what it feels like : ), even as i get to practice dealing with bank people again for large sums of money!

still, the money is not my own, but Papa's.

then it just hit me yesterday while i was walking under the noonday sun-- of course, my affirmation has already come true: this is the equivalent of $nnnnn.nn (even 5x more) ALREADY IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, isn't it?

except that the money is not mine. : ) heehee!!!

ohhhh Universe, youuuuuu!!!

so now i'm further fintetuning my affirmation--

Thank you, God, for the $nnnnn.nn already MINE and in my life right now, quickly and effortlessly! This, or something better!

be careful of what you pray for: be specific!!!

; ) : ) : )

Today's Quote

People too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours.

- copied from a friend's MySpace comments log : )

for papa

Squidoo

This is what I've been having fun with working hard (it doesn't feel like hard work when you're having fun though) on lately -- my Squidoo lenses! (< click to check them out)

These are my lenses there so far (still tweaking them even as I might add more as inspiration moves me!):

How to Create and Live the Abundant Life
Affliate Marketing for Newbies: Traps and Tips
Children, Children's Books and Life Lessons
Womanly Ways, Goddess Ways
Everyday Creative Conflict Transformation

What is Squidoo?

SKWID-OO, n. v., adj., addiction:
1) thousands of people creating a handbuilt catalog of the best stuff online.
2) a free and fun way to make your own page and get traffic and online word of mouth and Google juice.
3) a place to find what you're looking for, fast.

And if your lenses are good enough, you get to earn money and donate to charity, too!

Sign up for Squidoo here.

My Perfect Life

while sorting through my computer files, i found this "Declaration" i wrote around 6 months ago, at a very heartbreaking time in my life, because the love i thought was The One was not The One at all.

although this was written 6 months ago, i wrote in my diary snippets of this "Declaration" over the course of the last 2 years of further handcrafting my life. i only managed to put them all together here that darkest day in June when, in the depths of my despair, i also resolved to my self that, like Scarlett O'Hara clutching the soil of Tara in her hand, "As God is my witness--" I will not take this like a victim! : )

anyway, i post this here now because i my self am amazed: the life i have now is 90% what this Declaration describes! very soon (as in 6 days later!) after i let go of that old love that wasn't for me and wrote this Declaration, i met Someone Special who's turning out to be a true partner of my mind, heart, spirit (and body : >) and we are in a beautifully growing and deep Love and Friendship-- i'm keeping my fingers crossed. : )

there is power in decreeing, indeed!

so here it is, my Perfect Life, as declared by me! : >

My Perfect Life
(Decreed June 25, 2007)


Me

I am at peace with my self, with who I am, and happy with being authentically me, and growing each moment to be the finest soul I can be, in all ways. I treat other people with honor, honesty and respect, in the same manner that I always expect to be treated with honor, honesty and respect, too.

Children and Family

I take good care of my children and other people placed in my path and in my care, in all ways—physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually—the best way I can, and they take good care of me too the best ways they can. We enjoy good, healthy, affirming relationships based on respect, trust, openness and honesty, peace and freedom to let each other be as authentically as each can be, being the best each can be. Our simple rules we live by at home: be honest, be kind, speak gently, and clean up your own mess.

Love

My Twin Flame Soulmate and I are happily married to each other; we are the best of friends and lovers for life! We both enjoy a very good, stable, happy, joyful, healthy, peaceful and abundant Love, Friendship, Marriage and Family Life together, sharing our selves and our lives with each other intimately yet also lovingly allowing each other the freedom to be and grow to be the finest soul each can be. Our love for each other extends to our children and the rest of our family, friends and community. Our love for each other heals and transforms and inspires us both, as well as the lives of those we touch.

My Work

I work mainly based from home, writing, communicating, helping people, teaching, traveling all over the world and receiving abundant blessings in material or other forms, enough to take care of my self and my children very comfortably, allowing us to be the best we can be.

My Community: the World

My being authentically me extends its light and gifts to my children and family, to my Twin Flame Soulmate, to my work, and ultimately, to my community and the rest of the world, which I consider my world community. There is no strict division of boundaries, each fund the other, and the world is my home, a happy, peaceful, loving place I make and make with all the people placed in my path and care.

I leave this world someday better than I have found it. My presence in it, my life as I have lived it, is a blessing to all whom I have met.

2008: I'm Coming Out

I'm coming out, here.

Today's Quote

"A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided." - Anthony Robbins

parenting moments

these all happened yesterday--

1. Paolo calls me up to ask if he can spend New Year's Eve with his boy cousins from his Dad's side. (He's been out of the house since their Christmas break started last Dec. 21, first sleeping over at his cousins from my side, then with his cousins from his father's side... everyone loves having him around, and we have to "schedule" his visits because everyone wants him first!)

anyway, i say, "sure, palangga (dear)."

silent pause from him. "aren't you mad at me, ma?"

me: "why would i be mad, palangga?"

paolo: "because i haven't been home for so long. they say you're going to get mad at me."

me: "are you happy where you are 'langga? do they feed you well? are you safe?"

paolo: "yes, i am, ma!"

me: "that's what matters, langga. of course i miss you, but what matters is you're happy where you are."

i could see him grinning at the other end of the phone.

paolo: "you sure are a strange mom, but im glad you're my mom! i love you, ma!!!"


***


2. i was lying on my tummy in bed, writing on my journal, last night. Bea was beside me, happily chatting away while i nod from time to time and say, "uh...huh..."

after a while, i sense her squirming around and wriggling on the bed, her arms stuck to her sides. "what are you doing,'langga?", i asked her.

"i'm a worm," she says.

"why are you being a worm?" i ask.

"i want to know how worms move," she explains.

so i let her squirm around on the bed, even as i try to write.

after a while, she declares, "i move by pushing my knees, mama. but worms don't have knees... so, how do they move?"

(this was the little girl who once asked me too if ants had eyelashes, and what our eyebrows are for!)

: )

well, what could i say except my standard reply these days, "Look it up in Google."

: ) : ) : )

***

3. after dinner, while cleaning up, Thea blurts out to me, "Ma, L (her groupie friend from their band) says he likes me!"

i grin at her and say, "i know."

"how do you know, ma?"

"i saw him gazing at you the last time i brought you to your band practice. he had this shy, lovesick look in his eyes."

"he asked me to watch a movie with him, and i don't want to!" but she's smiling as she says this.

"uh... oh... just tell him you're not allowed to go on couple dates yet 'langga. (until this moment, i have never mentioned this to her.) group dates, yes, but no couple dates until you're 18 or 20..."

"i know, ma (she knows??? how???), but it's not that... i just see him as a brotherly friend... i already like R (this other guy from another school who calls her on the phone every night; i haven't met him so i don't like him yet!)... i don't want to be playing around!"

(playing around, my God! it's not as if they're committed or something, and i tell her so. and then i pick up where i left off in my lecture and try to explain to her as gently as i can that even i didn't go on couple dates until after college, because her grandpa was so strict, and i realize only now why and he was right, about curiosity and trying not to get too involved with someone or something you're not ready for yet, yada, yada, etc.)

thea cuts me off gently with just 3 words: "yes, ma. hormones."

i stare at her, and then i smile sheepishly as she smiles understandingly... like i was some kid she was patiently humoring.

huh???!!! : O

My Favorite Quotes Today

"Initial response illustrates a great deal about someone's personal philosophy." -- Jim Rohn

***

"A character is a completely fashioned will." -- Novalis

***

And this one, from my favorite author:

"Pure logic is the ruin of the spirit." -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Something Old, Something New

it's that time of the year again-- a time for looking back and looking forward, reviewing old dreams and creating new ones, which usually includes dreams for a better, happier, more abundant life, including money but not just money.

i've talked about this in my other blog. some visitors here may visit my other blog too, so this might already be familiar. still, here it is again, The Science of Getting Rich, in capsule form--

There is a universal energy from which all things are made. This energy fills the entire universe.

When you form a thought in your head, you tap into this energy, and you actually create that which you are thinking about.

Mankind has the ability to create a thought and cause the subject of the thought to be created within this field of Universal Energy.

To activate this ability, we must learn to harness our creative mind. Typically, we function with our competitive mind. But to create things with thought, we need to activate the creative mind.

We can come into harmony with this Universal energy through the act of expressing gratitude. Gratitude unifies our mind with this all encompassing Universal energy.

To manifest something new, simply hold an image of what you seek in your mind. And express gratitude to the Universe for having granted this to you. To achieve wealth, apply this same principle - hold a clear vision of the wealth you hope to attain. Then express gratitude that this wealth is coming to you. You must have unwavering faith and devout gratitude.

All that you include in your mental image will come to you through the physical realm - through the process of natural ways such as trade and commerce.

To claim this wealth, you must be active. You must do all that you can do each day to make this vision a reality. Especially strive to deliver to others something of value greater than what they paid you for.

Those who practice these instructions will get rich. And the riches they receive will be in the exact proportion to the definiteness of their vision, the fixity of their purpose, the steadiness of their faith, and the depth of their gratitude.

To participate in a free online course on The Science of Getting Rich, please click here.

To download a free copy of Wallace Wattles' 1910 book in ebook form, please click here.

Happy, Prosperous New Year, everyone!

My Life in 2008

my numerology forecast from Tarot.com (it has a free basic numerology calculator you can download, too!) for 2008 (i'm posting it here for easy reference and review in 2008 : >)--

This is a year of dynamic change, Jeanette. Many surprises will come your
way. Be open and ready to embrace new opportunities.

Do not be overly careful this year. This is a year in which a major step forward
can take place if you are willing to take some calculated risks and do a little
gambling. Wisdom and prudence is the key, but you will definitely be faced with
choices that require fast action and a willingness to act before all the facts are in.

This is an exciting year in which you will be required to promote yourself in
order to take full advantage of the opportunities that await you.

There will be increased opportunity to travel and possibly a change of
residence.

You may be tempted by the desires of the flesh: too much food, alcohol, sex,
and drugs. Be careful and discriminate. You could make mistakes in these
areas.

You will have some unexpected adventures and lucky breaks this year.

This can be an unsettling year if you try to cling to outmoded methods or
characteristics. This a year to throw off the old and adopt the new. It is a rebirth and a release after last year's struggle.

This is a year in which change takes place consistently, and particularly so in
April and May. July is a breakthrough, a time to enjoy life. September can be
intense, while October requires tact and balance in relationships.


a change in residence?! desires of the flesh?!!!

heehee... interesting year coming up, indeed!

bring 2008 on!

***

(Click here for a free sample Numerology Report)

2007 Book Launch

the age of innocence

while sitting here just now, distractedly cleaning up my yahoo mailbox (still stuck at 300plus : <), paolo comes up to me grinning widely and giggling and trying to control himself as he whispers to me--

i know now there is no Santa Claus!

i turn around, half-surprised (in the back of my mind, i sensed him earlier going through the whole house opening and closing drawers and closets... somehow i suspected he was looking for their gifts...), but feigning innocence --

what do you mean? i say.

he danced around me and whispered as he giggled even more--

i saw our gifts in yaya's (their nanny) room, covered with a blanket!

what else could i do but grin back, sheepishly?

***

after some moments, i asked him though--

how do you feel, palangga (dear)? don't you feel sad or cheated?

he quickly hugged me and said--

noooooo, ma! i think it's funny, youuuuu!!!! i love you, ma!!!

***

and then bea came up to sit on my lap, asking what all the giggling was about.

paolo and i looked at each other, and i just said--

ohhh nothing, palangga... we just read something funny in my email.

bea wanted to know what the email was about, and i said i deleted it already.

***

just yesterday, bea woke up excitedly to find a handwritten note on special paper with glittering fairy dust underneath her pillow.

mama, look! the tooth fairy came!!!

(of course, it was thea who made the specially crafted note, while i inserted the P100 bill, the night before...)

this is what the "tooth fairy" wrote--

Dearest Beatrice,

You have been a very good girl this year. I and the faeries have been very proud of your kind and generous acts.

I have told Santa of your wonderful behavior this year, and he might be on his way to give you what you asked for on your wishlist. I also told him about your brother. He, too, has been a very good boy. Your older sister is a sweetheart, and so is your mother. Be good to all of them.

Inserted within this letter is my little reward for you.

I hope you continue to be the wonderful girl that you are now.

Merry Christmas,
Fyora

: ) : ) : )

My Message from the Universe Today : )

It's not just that when one door closes, another door opens.

When one door closes, Jeanette, choirs burst into chorus, orchestras orchestrate, bugles bugle, marching bands march, dogs catch Frisbees, cats 'chow, chow, chow,' pigs fly, and 10,000 new doors open.

Kind of makes you want a door to close, huh?

The Universe
P.S. Another door opens, Jeanette... "good grief."

Did You Know 2.0

the power of technology in changing lives... how are we dealing with it in a way that affirms our humanity, not devalues it?

My Daemon, Apollonious : )

moving the Dream forward

it's 5:50 a.m. here. i am about to prepare my favorite spot for meditation, but Thea left the pc on when she went to sleep and the light from the pc screen draws me like a moth to a flame, as always. : )

so i check my emails just to get a quick run-through of what's in. (there're still 278 emails in my yahoo left to clean up! sigh.)

i am quickly attracted to two emails from the same sender, though.

they are from the new york-based literary agency i applied with online for sending two more of my children's stories to last december 11.

they want to see my work for evaluation!!! : )

***

they explain their criteria for evaluation: commercial viability of the work, writing skills of the author, and whether the evaluator personally likes/is touched by the work.

i think im good with the writing skills part already, and so far, i have gotten good feedback from these two stories, which have already been workshopped twice. it's just the commercial viability aspect i still need more information on, though.

i've submitted these to local publishers here; they like it, but i think, because of the topical themes involved (bullying/violence in school and a mother's breast cancer), they are hesitant about its "commercial viability". hmmmmm.

but i believe in my stories. im one writer who doesn't write until the idea really grabs me and won't let me go. i don't waste time writing and re-writing when i don't have a solid idea that has grabbed me yet, so i just usually simmer and "think-write" for years. so, because i believe in these stories, im sending them out again and again and again, even if that will take me the rest of my life doing it. : )

im casting my net wider, though. and it's in line with my lifelong dream of going international someday, getting my stories read by people of all ages, races, creeds and persuasions everywhere, and touching people's lives for the better in some way...

***

some days ago, i received a free subscription newsletter from one of these "gurus" who've made a success of making money online, and i was struck by what he said-- that the only difference between Success and Failure is Action, that those who eventually succeed spend time each day acting on their Dream, moving it a little bit forward in whatever way, if they can't move it much yet... and not listening to naysayers at all (there will always be naysayers anyway)!

and that's precisely how im spending my days here now, just acting on my Dreams a little bit more each day, helping the manifesting process along any which way i am moved to do so. im also not listening much to naysayers anymore; i've gotten rid of that habit years ago! : )

God bless me, God bless these Dreams, God bless my Path and the people I meet and work with along the way!

Dotcomology: Everything You Needed to Know

This FREE ebook is what I'm studying right now. It's downloadable free from here.

Here are additional FREE newbie training videos, too! : )

If one is resourceful and persistent enough, one doesn't really have to spend a lot to start an online business of one's own, that's what I'm learning these days.

Why I Like PIPS

this is one of the reasons why i decided to go for Stone Evans' PlugInProfits System (PIPS)-- the regular FREE newsletter (i signed up for the free newsletter weeks ago, before i decided to be part of the PIPS) content i'm getting on the way to building my own online business. a sample of their honest-to-goodness, direct advise is shown below (of course, i also realized they would promote the advantage of PIPS but it convinced me since what they said makes sense), which helps me think, reflect and plan my own way through, too:


Fast-Track Your Journey to Home Business Success
Copyright © Stone Evans, The Home Biz Guy


No one has ever logged onto the Internet for the first time and
started pocketing dollars in a really short period of time. As
with all things in life, there is a learning curve.

SOME PERSONAL HISTORY

Just a few short years ago, I was a working stiff just like you.

One day, I bought and read a book called "Multiple Streams of
Income" by bestselling author, Robert Allen. Immediately, I
began my journey.

Every night after work and after my wife and children went to
sleep, I would get online and explore different ways of using the
Internet to make money.

In the two years that followed, I spent over $10,000 racking up
credit card debt buying eBooks, membership sites, special
reports, opt-in leads, and joining every "guru" recommended
business opportunity that flew into my email inbox.

I stayed up learning, working, and drinking coffee until 5:00 in
the morning, month after month filled with the hope of making
money online.

In my third year of working part-time to build a home based
income, I finally broke through and earned over $100,000 in just
twelve months from the Internet.

BECOME THE MASTER OF YOUR LEARNING CURVE

Research the lives of all of the "gurus." The one thing that
you will learn is that my own experience is not unique. Most of
the high earners on the Internet experienced a learning curve
very similar to my own.

Chances are that your curve will also be similar to mine, but it
is my hope that you can get to the top faster than even I did.
Three years was a long time to struggle, but every ounce of
struggle was worth the reward I have finally received.

In order to shorten your own learning curve, you must do a few
things differently than the rest of us did. You must become the
master of your learning curve.

THE SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS IS A STRAIGHT LINE

There is only one way to shorten the curve on the Internet:

You must plan to succeed!

Here is the deal. Most people put up a freebie website and select
a few affiliate programs to add to their website. Right out of
the gate, most people are running for the finish line without any
real plan in mind.

After a few short weeks, people begin to see the writing on the
wall that says, "This is going to be a long hard road."

People check their hit counters daily for six weeks before they
realize that getting traffic to their free site is going to be
tough.

At this point, they begin developing their first batch of
advertising. Then they spend countless months finding places to
show their advertisements for free. Some make an even more
drastic mistake by blowing thousands of hard earned dollars on
their new and untested ads.

These are the people who will learn the facts of life the hard
way.

In time, they will learn how to make their advertising work for
them, but most will earn very little money from their affiliate
programs.

At this point in the learning curve, most people throw up their
hands and walk away from their dreams in utter disgust. Instead
of a walking away point, this should have convinced the
struggling online entrepreneur that they were simply traveling
the wrong road.

YOU MUST PLAN TO SUCCEED

From day one, you must begin to learn about the nuances of web
promotion. Read everything you can get your hands on. Don't just
read the hype, back it up with the opinions of others who have
reviewed the same programs before you came along. Learn from
their mistakes and successes.

As you begin to learn, you must also look to make a decision. Do
you want to step into a pre-built program that is designed to
help you to succeed, OR do you want to create a completely new
program of which you are the sole owner?

If you decide to step into a pre-designed and complete turn-key
online money-making venture, then you must select the right
venture to step into. If this is your decision, I encourage you
to check out the Plug In Profit Site here.

If you decide to go the journey on your own, then do all of the
necessary research, planning and preparation that is needed for
your success.

PREPARE TO SUCCEED

Decide what you think you would want to do, and then figure out
how your planned site will generate a real income.

Internet old-timers know about hundreds of corporation domains
that existed with IPO millions, but did not have an actual money
plan that could sustain their business model. Most of these
companies were among the hundreds of companies that bellied up in
the 2000 dot bomb experience.

Don't blindly believe in your plan. Research others on the web
who have undertaken similar business models and see if they have
survived. Study your competitors in depth to learn what is
working for them and what did not work for them. To better
understand what has or has not worked for competitor websites,
check out their time lapsed progressions using the Wayback
Machine

Once you have determined your money plan, then you should
undertake the development of a business plan and a marketing
plan. Utilize professional assistance if you need to do so. While
creating your plans, make a determination as to which domain name
you think would be best, then register it along with a hosting
account. You can do this at Host4Profit in Step 2 on this page.


Once you have developed your business plan and marketing plan and
have run them through several revisions, then it will be time to
buy your domain name and to begin work with a site designer and
developer. You may need to have your domain sitting on a web host
for your site developer, but this is not always necessary. While
they are doing their work, enlist a copywriter to help you with
your site sales copy.

When your site designer and developer have your site working, you
should then undertake significant testing to make sure everything
works as planned. It is much harder to fix problems on a
operational site than it is to fix problems on a site that has
yet to be launched.

When testing is done, then you should fill in your sales copy and
then shoot for launch. Of course, you already have a marketing
plan in place, so your preparation here will be simply a matter
of putting the pieces of the puzzle into place.

You are finally ready to open for business. Don't be afraid to
spend the money to bring your dream alive. Time can replace money
in the goal of starting a profitable online business, but money
invested can shave years off of your company's growth.

About the Author:
------------------------------------------------------------
Stone Evans helps ordinary people all over the world make
money online with affiliate programs. If you can follow 3
easy steps, you can get your own customized website,
autoresponder (email follow-up software) and pre-written
email marketing campaign professionally designed and
installed and ready to pull in profits for you in 24 hours
or less! See details at and sign up today at:
PlugInProfits.

my own, my first!

i have my own and my first business site up and going now-- Avalanche Of Blessings!

of course, the really first business site of my own is the author website inspired by B, and which content im still currently working on. then, the mother site for this site, Avalanche Of Blessings.com, is something i'm also still currently working on, hopefully to be unveiled by Christmas Day.

it's just that, in the course of my research, i was also already itching to get some action done and see how it really is, like an on-the-job training even as i learn the principles of online marketing and keyword research and SEOS, etc.

so i found this site, PlugInProfits, and decided to invest in this test. they build your own site for you, set up your products and income streams for you, help you with responding to your customers, and many other stuff-- all you have to do is help market your site by generating traffic. in other words, it shortcuts all the other work of having your own internet business so you can just focus on generating income through effective marketing methods.

for an initial plunk down of only P60/day (that's just like eating one Happy Meal a day) for my first month and even much less in the suceeding months, i figured id take the tuition to learn more even as i already start earning. the alternative is to keep researching and learning,... and earning nothing yet. so, of course, im taking the more promising alternative.

anyway, im just on my second day now, getting familiar with all the resources PIPS (PlugInProfits System) provides, as well as contacting their helpdesk for every question that occurs to me. so far, they have been very patient and accommodating with me, even when i ask really stupid-sounding questions (hey, im a newbie, and im paying for this stuff! so i have that privilege :>) whose answers are either already in the FAQ or in some previous welcome email they sent.

and im having a lot of fun! : )

i question my self: what feeds my hunger for this new adventure? the money itself, which is the usual and most obvious reason? or something more?

hmmmm... in some ways, it is the money. it could sure help pay for a number of things the kids and i need and want... faster. but then, again, even without it, we're already happy as we are, and we'll either get those things we need and want eventually, or find we don't need or want them anymore somewhere down the line anyway.

i think it's something more. i've never been one to just work for money alone anyway. heck, i volunteer and help out in projects that fire my passion, even without getting paid!

i think it's about the challenge and thrill of conquering a new territory, a new as-yet unexplored world for me, and finding more about my strengths and gifts and limitations, too, in the process.

that's what's been missing lately from my previous work and even volunteer projects-- just more of the same. and i guess, i've been yearning for this new pioneer kind of feeling and challenge again.

more to update next time. i'm having a really interesting and fun time doing keyword research . heehee.... just for a taste of the interesting pieces of tidbits i'm discovering along the way-- i didn't realize "hot women" and "mature women" ranks way up there in the list of most often searched keywords more than "beautiful women" and "young women" are!!!

: ) : ) : )

getting serious

i am getting serious with my new dream. (hmmmm... well, it isn't really new, but the method for achieving it is... i've always envisioned myself working from home earning multiple streams of income as the ideal work and life style for me, and im well on my way there now with my offline freelance writing and paid speaking/training projects and all).

this time, though, i want to try out earning online, for my self. (there's the online family business i've been working on for 4 years now as one-woman customer care, marketing and liaison person, which has trained me and taught me to see how exciting and challenging the global world is out there, and how i --we Filipinos, actually-- can be up to par in engaging it successfully.)

heck, im on the net so much and have been quite a good customer of so many (mostly info) products and services all these years, i figured i might as well get on the other side of the fence and start sending the money flow my way too, instead of my just sending it out from me. : )

for the past two weeks now, i've been sleepless doing intensive research. it is amazing how i can't stand 30 minutes in one stretch doing the data analysis for my project paper, yet sit for hours on end lost in my business research.

i am starting to see my way through the forest and the fog, and i am very careful to hold on to my credit card and not buy guides here and there just because of their impressive sales pitch and marketing hype. im quite the gullible and impressionable type and i've learned my lessons already (i should, by now!).

needless to say, i am excited, if only to see where this will lead me. if there's one thing this one year break from my regular work is telling me clearly, it's that i don't want to go back anymore, i feel i have achieved all that i have set out to achieve there, and i want to explore new challenges now, on my own, and being on my own.

my excitement is double this morning. a few days ago, i signed up FREE for this affiliate training site, and today, i just got an email telling me i've just had my first affiliate signing up under my account! : )

what i like about SFI is the training and support it gives, especially to newbies like me, and also the opportunity for me to train and help others as i also learn and grow. my education and training background comes in very handy, also my online personalized customer care experience from the family business. when one signs up, one is interviewed for one's background and goals, which helps them help you better. and so far, the assistance I've been getting is helping me ease out of my anxieties and confusion, at least.

it looks like it has a good track record, too, from the research ive done so far. it's been operating offline since 1985 and online since 1998, a member of the Better Business Bureau, as well as the International Association of Home Business Entrepreneurs (IAHBE).

anyway, baby steps. i'll share my progress as they come. : )

p.s. maybe, in a way, i have indeed been "dying" lately-- dying to an old way of life, of thinking, of perceiving possibilities, and being born to this new one, the world of endless, global possibilities!

God bless my way, as God has always done so!

my favorite quote today

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature… Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. -Helen Keller

my last trip

"Give everyone thy ear, but few thy voice." - William Shakespeare

this might as well sum up how i've been lately, especially during my last trip for this year, the one the PJ team took to conduct a training in cagayan de oro.

unlike in previous trips, i dreaded leaving home, and i was excited to come back home. during the stay, i was mostly reclusive, keeping to my self. when people stayed out later at night to drink, sing karaoke, eat and fellowship some more, i went straight to my resort cottage to read, write, meditate and sleep early. of course, i woke up earlier than most everyone else, too, and i did more of the same. i also took long, solitary early-morning walks up and down the mountain resort.

i wondered at my own subtle yet powerful change, too. i wondered if i was dying soon, really. how come the things that used to thrill me and excite me, like going away on trips to exotic and not so exotic places, only tire me now? how come i just want to stay home most of the time now? how come i'm starting to painfully long for my very special someone to be with me here, now, in all ways, to share all these things im seeing, doing, experiencing?

if i wasn't dying soon, i wondered if this is what it means about really "settling down"... or growing middle-aged. : )

and i wondered all these wonderings mostly during the looooooong waits (due to constantly delayed flights) at packed airports.

it got bad at the manila domestic airport on the way home. across me was a middle-aged British-looking guy happily snuggling with his pretty 30-ish something Filipina wife (i looked at their hands; they both wore identical wedding rings). seated right in front of me was a much older couple, an American guy who pretended playing slave to his bossy Filipina wife, but one could see they adored each other with the way they gazed at each other even as they talked.

i wanted to transfer seats, but it was jampacked, the only alternative was to stand or walk around while waiting for my flight.

it didn't help that surprisingly, for this trip, i didn't particularly enjoy talking to my travelling companions either, whose talk only further tired me out.

i have had a lot going on in my mind lately, even before the trip, mostly about my life direction and career plans, and how i just want to stay home now and write, and care for my kids... and hopefully, my future husband someday soon... if God brings me to that, as i find more ways to just stay home and earn multiple streams of income so i don't jeopardize my kids' comfort and long-term security...

i just don't like talking to people much nowadays.

the first night i was back home, i wept my self to sleep.

these last two days though, i have mostly been on the pc, alone and quietly, studying keywords and search engine optimization and home-based online business stuff... still, i've been mostly living in my head these days.

sigh.

what is happening to me???

thank God the kids at least seem to understand, as they just patiently let me be and try not to get in my way too much.

sigh.

i want this last trip of the year to be my last trip now (although i know there are still 3 or 4 upcoming trips first half of next year again... sigh!).

the next trips i want to take, i just want to take with my kids and special someone already, no more with other people.

many sighs.

whew!

busy morning here. and it's not even lunchtime yet.

'been up since 5am, just picking a few emails from the 85 emails already in my inbox to open, read and respond to.

one email from my publisher got me cross-texting with another colleague, the storyteller who was here last month for the storytelling workshop in tandem with my booklaunch. apparently there were some misunderstandings on fees and costs, and i've been coordinating with both to clarify matters, texting, emailing and calling.

in between, had to bring Thea to her friend K's house, with K informing us at the last minute that her mom can't take them to the airport for K to see her boyfriend off after all, so it fell upon me, of course, to take them to the airport-- me driving in my nightgown (K's house was only in the subdivision next to ours, so i didn't bother to change)! even as i drove, mama called. thankfully, when she learned i was driving, she said she'd call later...

then, as i arrived home, J from the PJ office texted to tell me that our flight for CDO on thursday is at 9am, not 630am, thank God! and then L texted from the bank too to tell me my Euro honoraria would be deposited to my account instead since the bank didn't have any Euro smaller bills for withdrawal. hmmm, ok. i texted her back to go ahead (what else can we do if i want to get my full honoraria, down to the last Euro?).

as i was doing this, my brother Tope came to consult with me re his project paper, as i greeted him happy birthday, and we also talked about family (another episode in the long-standing tragi-comedy drama series) stuff and updated each other. he asked to borrow my car to go to the bank and run errands (as his car is in manila now) and i let him.

B said hi on the way to his own errands. i love this sweet man. it's always a joy hearing from him. : )

meanwhile, Bea's here with me watching tv. it's Sportsfest time at school and since she's not into any game or sport, she just decided to stay home with me.: ) my girl. the tv isn't helping me much concentrating on my own project paper, though...

im starting to get panicky. i have to have Tope's and my own project paper done by wednesday, before i leave for CDO, so Tope can print and submit them and schedule us for our target defense date of Dec. 7.

can i do this in two days?

probably, without sleeping.

but ive noticed this year that i can't handle no-sleep straight-through-the-night writing projects like i used to before (i even do straight-through-3-nights before!)... sigh. signs of age, i guess. hmmpfff! (if not for this, i absolutely relish and look forward to growing older! the older you get, the freer you are to be you... my uniqueness used to be considered nerdy, then crazy, now attractively interesting... i look forward to being full-blown attractively eccentric, a gorgeous globetrotting grandma, with my nose thumbed at all the madding crowd!)

...


hmmm... what am i doing rambling here?

i guess i just want to get all this stuff in my head down here --framing, in manifesting language : ) -- so i can get it cleared to focus on performing miracles with Tope's and my project paper!

oh, God, help!

and this is for mama, too, who hasn't called back. this is the answer to your unspoken "how are you today?" when you called earlier. : )

i love you!

How Two Words Changed My Life

Two words which will change your life!
from Rhonda Byrne,Creator of The Secret:

There are two words that, when spoken, have the most unfathomable power to completely change your life. Two words which, when they pass your lips, will be the cause of bringing absolute joy and happiness to you. Two words that will create miracles in your life. Two words that will wipe out negativity. Two words that will bring you abundance in all things. Two words which, when uttered and sincerely felt, will summon all the forces and vibrations in the Universe to move all things for you.

The only thing standing between you, happiness, and the life of your dreams, are two words...

THANK YOU.

Gratitude is one of the easiest and most powerful ways to transform your life. If you become truly grateful, you will magnetize absolute joy to you everywhere you go, and in everything you do. In fact, without gratitude, nothing can ever change. Your life will change to the degree that you use gratitude and begin to feel grateful. If you are just a little bit grateful, your life will change a little bit. If you are very grateful, your whole life will change. If you live gratitude every single day, you will become one of the greatest human beings on the planet, and the light of your life will uplift our world.

The greatest human beings who have ever lived showed us the way with gratitude, and by their example became shining lights in our history. Einstein said "thank you" hundreds of times every single day! Ancient wisdom dating back thousands of years gave us the truth about gratitude. Every single religion speaks of giving thanks. All the sages and saviors of the world demonstrated the use of gratitude in all their teachings.

Of the thousands of letters we receive from people whose lives have become miracles after experiencing The Secret, every single one of them has made gratitude their way of life. It is impossible to be negative when you are giving thanks. It is impossible to criticize or blame when you are feeling grateful. It is impossible to feel sad when you are in gratitude. Most people are sporadically grateful, however, to change your life with gratitude, a new way of learning how to be truly grateful is what will bring unlimited happiness into your life.

So how do you live in gratitude? Begin your day by feeling grateful. Be grateful for the bed you just slept in, the roof over your head, the carpet or floor under your feet, the running water, the soap, your shower, your toothbrush, your clothes, your shoes, the car that you drive, your job, your friends, your refrigerator that keeps your food cold. Be grateful for the weather, the sun, the sky, the birds, the trees, the grass, the rain, and the flowers. Be grateful for the stores that make it so easy to buy the things you need, the restaurants, the utilities and services and electrical appliances that make your life effortless. Be grateful for magazines and the books that you read. Be grateful for the chair that you sit on, and the pavement that you walk on. Be grateful for your favorite music that sweeps you away, and for movies that make you feel good. Be grateful for your phone that connects you with people, for your computer, for the electricity that lights up your life. Be grateful for air travel that flies you everywhere. Be grateful for the roads and traffic lights that keep the traffic in order. Be grateful to those who built our bridges. Be grateful for your pet, for your child, for your loved ones, for your eyes that enable you to read this. Be grateful for your imagination. Be grateful that you can think! Be grateful that you can speak. Be grateful that you can laugh and smile. Be grateful that you can breathe! Be grateful that you are alive! Be grateful that you are You! Be grateful that there are two words that can change your life!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

The more that you practice gratitude the more deeply you will feel it in your heart, and the depth of the feeling is the key. The more deeply and sincerely you feel it, the more you will bring absolute bliss and happiness on every single subject. Watch what happens in your life when you practice gratitude every single day and in every single moment and in every opportunity that you can. Remember, if you are criticizing, you are not being grateful. If you are blaming, you are not being grateful. If you are complaining, you are not being grateful. If you are feeling tension, you are not being grateful. If you are rushing, you are not being grateful. If you are in a bad mood, you are not being grateful.

To understand the power and the magic of gratitude, you have to experience it for yourself. So why not begin by deciding to find 100 things a day to be grateful for? As you practice gratitude every day, it won't take long before gratitude is your natural state of being, and when it happens you will have unlocked one of the greatest Secrets to Life.

***

technical notes:

According to the Laws of Manifesting (Law of Attraction, Law of Deliberate Creation and Law of Allowing), the Universe responds to your vibrations, not really your actions. And your vibrations have a lot to do with the thoughts you think, and the feelings you feel as a result of the thoughts you think. So, saying "Thank You" is the best and quickest way to getting into vibrational alignment with your Desires. And when you're feeling good and joyful, you are inspired to be and act in ways which cause you to attract what you Desire, because you are now finally in compatible vibrations.

So, in summary, the principles are:

1. Vibration (vibrational Alignment with Desire, specifically), not action (unless Inspired Action, inspired from proper vibrational alignment in the first place)

2. Thoughts, not time-space-distance, rule!

This is the scientific explanation. And I guarantee, from my own experience, readings and learnings-- it does work!


personal notes:

when i started out in the habit of saying "Thank You", though, it was just to keep my self from falling into despair.

five years ago, at 34, i left my marriage, and with 3 young kids to support, with grudging and stinting "support" from their father then (i had to employ moral suasion even among the in-laws to make him give to the children what was already his responsibility)-- i was financially-constrained, and heavily in debt even (as i assumed all the marital debts just so i could be rid of him).

those early months and years made it much easier to complain, blame, worry and be fearful; but my overriding concern at that time was that i will NOT have my children remember those tight times with feelings of negativity. i didn't want them growing up with that legacy. i could still give them something even if only in terms of happy, positive memories, no matter what our circumstances were.

so i even took to singing Julie Andrews' "My Favorite Things" and writing my thanks yous everyday on my journal, feverishly-- just to prevent my self from falling into despair, which sorely tempted me then. how could i create happy memories for them when i myself was not feeling it? so adopting the habit of Gratitude was a desperate and emergency measure, in a way.

look at me now! : ) who would believe that i can take a YEAR'S UNPAID leave off from my regular day job today just so i could stay at home, be with my children more, and do more of what i really loved to do-- writing and communicating and even traveling!

and it's not as if i'm awash with my own personal cash savings to fund this year's off. people think that; i let them. : ) they don't believe i'm telling the truth that i'm just living by God's Grace, day after day, month after month!

they think i'm crazy to follow my heart, and to keep saying thank you before for not much to thank about...

well, my life now is my only reply.

so, THANK YOU-- to them, to the past, to life's circumstances and challenges, and most of all, to God and the Universe!

even with my children now, i've taught them to just say thank you when they pray, instead of asking God for what they need and want. for what they do need and want, i've taught them to thank God already in advance! : )

so, THANK YOU. it really works. : )

don't laugh now...

... but would you believe im not only learning how to prepare healthy and yummy-tasting food these days, im even studying how FOOTBALL is played, ... and enjoying the process, too!

imagine that.

i never thought i'd come to this. : )

Words Have Power: 10 Tips for Kinder Speech

By Judy Gruen

In our media-driven society, it's easy to forget the awesome power of words. Words have enormous power to hurt or to heal, to make or break reputations, to uplift or degrade another human being. In this way, the words we speak literally change the world and how we view the people in it. Here are 10 ways to improve the world and ourselves through channeling our power of speech for the good.

Click here for the full article.

1. Avoid (gossip and) gossipmongers.

2. Talk about ideas, not people.

3. Think before you speak.

4. Use your words and your smile to uplift others.

5. Truth is no excuse; (practice verbal self-restraint.)

6. Judge others favorably; (always look for the good in people; there always is.)

7. Don't badmouth yourself either!

8. Change the subject when gossip begins.

9. Share bad news only if you must.

10. Be careful with praise (that it doesn't exclude others, too).

Santa's Early!!! : )

Wowwwwww. Life gets even better and better!

Lopue's East Mall just texted: Bea won in their RAD Bike raffle promo!!! : ) : ) : )

And just the other day, she was telling me she wants to add a bike to her Santa wish list, too, after she heard Paolo tell me he wanted a bike for Christmas!!!

Thank you, God!!!

"Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night"

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

- by Dylan Thomas

10 Questions to Ask Yourself and Be Your Own Life Coach

pls. click on the title above for the full article. as for me i just want to list the 10 questions here for my own reminder and to keep my focus.

when faced with a life challenge, it is good to ask one's self these questions for inner guidance...


1. Is this Good for Me?

2. What does My Body have to Say About This?

3. What are My Values?

4. What would Jesus (Mary, God, Goddess, Grandma, any role model) do?

5. What Am I Not Seeing Here?

6. What Really Matters Here?

7. Where Should I Act and Where Should I Step Back?

8. What Would Make Me Genuinely Happy? (i love this one! this is the criteria i basically go by, aside from no. 3 above)

9. Who Has Some Guidance for Me Right Now?

10. What Is the Divine Intention for My Life Today?

Stop Acting Small

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.


-Marianne Williamson

Patrick Henry Hughes - Inspirational Story

all's well

i've brought the last of the guests to the airport this morning. it has been a full, abundant, joyful and meaningful week.

the paper i delivered at the Reading Association of the Philippines Demofest last Saturday afternoon was good, i believe. in the first place, it passed my own standards. then, too, after i delivered it, a number of people came up to me to ask for a copy of it, as it wasn't in their kits. so, maybe i did get my message across, which is what i prayed for.

i had lots of fun entertaining guests and new friends, too, driving them around bacolod, and showing them the food delicacies and the sights, amidst the Masskara Festival. i wondered why they kept apologizing to me for taking too much of my time and energies, when i enjoyed their company too!

i slept the whole day of Sunday and even most of today, too. it's my postponed jet lag catching up on me, i guess. after Honey and i arrived from the States last Sunday, i didn't have the luxury of winding down, as it was immediately off to last meetings with the bibliotherapy-book launch- storytelling team, going for my on-the-set tv interview, welcoming my publishers' staff and showing them around, also fetching N, our guest storyteller, and taking care of his transportation needs the whole time he was here and even assisting him in his tv interview too, providing support for the bibliotherapy lecture and the storytelling workshop, and, of course, being fully there for my own book launch, even as i researched and wrote my paper overnight for the reading association demofest.

now, it's back to my "ordinary" life, but it's really not so ordinary anymore (well, come to think of it, it never has been!).

next to dos:

- update butterfly business stuff
- help Papa with renewing the store rights award in my name
- checking and returning my MA students' papers
- finishing my Project Paper too, so i can turn it in by Oct. 30, schedule my defense early November, and finally earn my MA Conflict and Reconciliation Studies degree
- finishing 3 more projects: FCQ, Kaisa and Rubin's manuscript editing
- and finally and most importantly, working on the content of my author website with B, and buckling down to writing my 1 story/month target for the rest of my leave (7 months to go)!

***

mama's still in the hospital for pneumonia. im concerned, of course, but the last time i talked to her on the phone, her voice sounded strong and full and she seemed upbeat, even welcoming the hospital stay as a chance for her to fully rest and sleep longer than she is used to at home. so, i guess, that's a very good sign.

one time, when i was still there with her last month, and she was starting to talk death wishes again, i acknowledged her desires yet also reminded her, half-jokingly, "ma, don't die on me yet. you still have to see my two remaining dreams in life come true-- become an internationally-published, best-selling, critically-acclaimed, and well-loved author of children's and other books, whose stories touch and transform people's lives and live on long after i do; and be happily married to my True Soulmate, for real and for keeps!"

she smiled at that, and seemed buoyed by the idea.

***

i'm just enjoying my time with the kids again. we celebrated my homecoming a week late by my treating ourselves out to one of my favorite restaurants for lunch earlier today, after i fetched them from school.

it's exam week for them this week, so they only have morning classes. after the exams are over, im planning to take them and their cousins to the Waxworks tour at the Negros Musuem, for a Halloween treat. : )

one of these days, im treating my self again, too, to my long-overdue beauty salon and spa treat! i haven't dated my self in quite a while! : ) : ) : )

***

i brought home the three choicest of the two dozen roses B sent before i flew home. they're on my bedside table. i brought home his card and even the package stamps too! : )

i look at them every time, and feel very blessed for having B in my life now.

for the first time in my life, i am in love without the attendant anxiety and insecurities and uncertainty and agonies that used to accompany my falling in love states before. (and now, i wonder if they were more delirium than really falling in "Love" as Love is meant to be!)

for the first time in my life, i am amazingly feeling... peace, and contentment, and just sheer joy, from being me, and from loving and being loved. i can actually relate now to how it's described in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8... how it should be, how it really is.

i hope and pray this consciousness stays with me this way, for good, no matter what the outer circumstances and challenges might be that will inevitably assail us, as with all relationships.

i pray for B, and B and i, all the time now.

***

all's well.

God always sees to it; i know that now.

more success

the whole day storytelling workshop yesterday was a success, too!

the children's library, where it was held, was jampacked. participants even came in earlier than the registration staff! we expected only around 30 participants, but ultimately, 64 were in, and they were all attentive, participative and energized by Manolo Silayan's very substantial and stimulating workshop.

at the end of the day, the participants organized themselves into Alitaptap (Firefly) Storytellers Association - Bacolod and even elected their own officers and set the date for their next meeting already!!!

which is what the whole "Books Build, Books Heal" campaign was about-- to tap, organize and develop a pool of volunteer storytellers for the Negros Museum's Storyteling for Children Program!!!

: ) : ) : )

ohhhhhh, thank you, God, for good friends, good and talented people, and everyone coming together to create something good for children and the culture of reading and books altogether!!!

***

i've been up since 2am starting and finishing the paper i am going to present at the Reading Association of the Philippines (RAP) Demofest today. it's 5:46am and im done and im proud of what i have come up with, too!!! : )

'good thing i kept files of old papers saved; it made my research and referencing easier and faster!

I am in the Heart of God.
I bask in God's Love and Abundance.

things just keep getting better and better!

thank you, God!!! : ) : ) : )

success

the wedding --- er, book launch : ) --- was what i hoped it would be: well-attended, by family, extended family and friends, both old and new; the books browsed through, read and bought (or bought and read) well; people coming up to me telling me their thoughts and feelings about the books; people having a good time mingling among themselves during the cocktails, while i sat in a corner signing the books; people bringing their kids and the kids moving around freely, browsing through the children's library (where the program was held) shelves, picking out books they liked, and reading intently even as the program went on; kids lining up too to have their books signed and personally addressed to them (one kid whom i asked what his name was, said, "Lastikman"! : >); people listening attentively to the short talks, my quite emotionally-laden talk, and Nolo's wonderful storytelling rendition of "Tight Times". i even got interviewed again by the ABS-CBN tv crew on the spot, just before the launch started, for the evening news! : ) : ) : )

it had the look, feel, ambiance that i couldn't really succinctly describe but secretly hoped it would have. almost the same look, feel, ambiance my dream wedding would have, when i wed again someday. : )

i bared my heart and soul at home, and home finally began to understand what my passion was about, and, with wide-open arms, welcomed me in.

pre-wedding jitters

i have just sent out the last of the invitations.

it's the afternoon before my book launch tomorrow, right in my own home city, but it feels like im going to be wed!

i have had my two books actually previously launched-- the first book in 2004, at the University where i studied and now teach, but it was a small, intimate launch; the 2nd book at the recently held National Children's Book Day last July 17, at the Cultural Center of the Philippines in Manila, where I also received my second Philippine Board on Books for Young People (PBBY) Salanga Prize.

this time, though, i'm (re)launching them, right at home, and making it open to the public, right in the midst of the Masskara festivities, too.

somehow, i feel more jittery now than the previous two original launches.

it feels like i am going to be wed-- not to a person, but to my Dream, really casting my die now-- not just writing on the side, but writing children's books for keeps-- in front of everyone, right at HOME, where it could both hurt and heal.

somehow, it's okay to make your Dream public in faraway places and to people who don't know you; but at HOME???

that's why it feels more like a wedding than a book launch.

you wed only in front of people closest to you.

this is it, now, Dream. no turning back.

still

it's 3:44 a.m. here; i've been up for around 40 minutes already.

even while apparently "doing" stuff, like checking my email now to clean up my inbox, i am as still as a baby who has just woke up.... a kind of alert, watchful stillness.

i am savoring this moment.

it's like the moments of stillness, of perfect bliss, that i get to in my meditations have transferred over to this moment, even when im not consciously meditating.

i have just jotted down all my things to do for this week. somehow, they don't disturb this stillness even, when before, a year or two ago, this would start me hyperventilating in anxiety and growing panic, at the so many things to do in so little time...

right now, i am just... still.

all is right with my world.

all is Perfect, in fact, even as all continually change.

in my meditations, my favorite and "highlight mantra", which i have coined my self, is this:

I am in the Heart of God.
I bask in God's Love and Abundance.

this is It, right now.

i'm living it.

i'm being it.

Today

THE DAILY MOTIVATOR
Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Do you realize?
+++++++++++++++++++

Do you understand where you are right now? You are in a
place, a time, and a set of circumstances toward which
you've been moving your entire life.

Do you realize the enormous opportunity that now exists? You
are more experienced and better prepared than ever before.

Each past failure is now a positive and valuable lesson that
you've learned about what works and what doesn't. All the
disappointments you've ever known have now combined together
to create a powerful and meaningful determination that
permeates your life.

By this point in your life, your dreams and desires are more
in line with who you truly are than they've ever been
before. And now you're perfectly positioned to actually
achieve them.

Do you realize how truly unique and powerful this very
moment is? This is the moment when you can begin to fulfill
your greatest possibilities.

This is the moment you've been working your way toward for a
long time. You are here at last, so fill your world with the
lifetime of richness that you're able to give.

Ralph Marston

............................................................................
This is the Daily Motivator email edition.
Copyright (C) 2007 Ralph S. Marston, Jr. All rights reserved.
Visit The Daily Motivator web site at http://greatday.com for an
archive
of more than 3,000 daily messages, inspirational photos and more.

My Horoscope Today

Although you may not be inclined to play lightly with others now, it's just because you have more urgent business. Your emotions have opened wide and you don't want to miss the opportunity to feel something so strong. Still, there's that gnawing fear of the unknown. Don't try to talk your way out of this journey. Jump on in, for the water is wet and deep.