Friday, March 05, 2010

oh, me of little faith!

here i am, down to my last P200 again, feeling the claws of anxiety gnawing at me again, EVEN IF--

-- i already know there are more funds in the pipeline from projects accomplished; they just haven't gotten to me yet, but will do so in a matter of days;

-- i already know how there are ample food and other living provisions at home, and there really is no extra foreseen expenditure for me to attend to this weekend, so all i need is to get through the weekend with just my (actually) extra P200;

-- i already know, from experience, that even without the above, i am still taken care of, somehow;

-- i already know, from experience, too, how it's been like for me many times before this, and that there really is no need to worry, because things do really turn out alright, for me and my kids;

-- i already know now, from my many spiritual studies and practices, how the Only Reality there is is God's Love and God's Infinite Provision, and that all else is human-made Illusion, yet i, with my anxiety, still allow the Illusion to have more power than the Reality!

ohhhh, me of little faith!

i can understand better now, how the fishermen in the boat must have felt amidst the raging storm at sea, and how Jesus must have felt when they called upon Him for help!

oh, me of little faith!

Lord, grant me the grace of more Faith!