Monday, October 22, 2007

all's well

i've brought the last of the guests to the airport this morning. it has been a full, abundant, joyful and meaningful week.

the paper i delivered at the Reading Association of the Philippines Demofest last Saturday afternoon was good, i believe. in the first place, it passed my own standards. then, too, after i delivered it, a number of people came up to me to ask for a copy of it, as it wasn't in their kits. so, maybe i did get my message across, which is what i prayed for.

i had lots of fun entertaining guests and new friends, too, driving them around bacolod, and showing them the food delicacies and the sights, amidst the Masskara Festival. i wondered why they kept apologizing to me for taking too much of my time and energies, when i enjoyed their company too!

i slept the whole day of Sunday and even most of today, too. it's my postponed jet lag catching up on me, i guess. after Honey and i arrived from the States last Sunday, i didn't have the luxury of winding down, as it was immediately off to last meetings with the bibliotherapy-book launch- storytelling team, going for my on-the-set tv interview, welcoming my publishers' staff and showing them around, also fetching N, our guest storyteller, and taking care of his transportation needs the whole time he was here and even assisting him in his tv interview too, providing support for the bibliotherapy lecture and the storytelling workshop, and, of course, being fully there for my own book launch, even as i researched and wrote my paper overnight for the reading association demofest.

now, it's back to my "ordinary" life, but it's really not so ordinary anymore (well, come to think of it, it never has been!).

next to dos:

- update butterfly business stuff
- help Papa with renewing the store rights award in my name
- checking and returning my MA students' papers
- finishing my Project Paper too, so i can turn it in by Oct. 30, schedule my defense early November, and finally earn my MA Conflict and Reconciliation Studies degree
- finishing 3 more projects: FCQ, Kaisa and Rubin's manuscript editing
- and finally and most importantly, working on the content of my author website with B, and buckling down to writing my 1 story/month target for the rest of my leave (7 months to go)!


mama's still in the hospital for pneumonia. im concerned, of course, but the last time i talked to her on the phone, her voice sounded strong and full and she seemed upbeat, even welcoming the hospital stay as a chance for her to fully rest and sleep longer than she is used to at home. so, i guess, that's a very good sign.

one time, when i was still there with her last month, and she was starting to talk death wishes again, i acknowledged her desires yet also reminded her, half-jokingly, "ma, don't die on me yet. you still have to see my two remaining dreams in life come true-- become an internationally-published, best-selling, critically-acclaimed, and well-loved author of children's and other books, whose stories touch and transform people's lives and live on long after i do; and be happily married to my True Soulmate, for real and for keeps!"

she smiled at that, and seemed buoyed by the idea.


i'm just enjoying my time with the kids again. we celebrated my homecoming a week late by my treating ourselves out to one of my favorite restaurants for lunch earlier today, after i fetched them from school.

it's exam week for them this week, so they only have morning classes. after the exams are over, im planning to take them and their cousins to the Waxworks tour at the Negros Musuem, for a Halloween treat. : )

one of these days, im treating my self again, too, to my long-overdue beauty salon and spa treat! i haven't dated my self in quite a while! : ) : ) : )


i brought home the three choicest of the two dozen roses B sent before i flew home. they're on my bedside table. i brought home his card and even the package stamps too! : )

i look at them every time, and feel very blessed for having B in my life now.

for the first time in my life, i am in love without the attendant anxiety and insecurities and uncertainty and agonies that used to accompany my falling in love states before. (and now, i wonder if they were more delirium than really falling in "Love" as Love is meant to be!)

for the first time in my life, i am amazingly feeling... peace, and contentment, and just sheer joy, from being me, and from loving and being loved. i can actually relate now to how it's described in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8... how it should be, how it really is.

i hope and pray this consciousness stays with me this way, for good, no matter what the outer circumstances and challenges might be that will inevitably assail us, as with all relationships.

i pray for B, and B and i, all the time now.


all's well.

God always sees to it; i know that now.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

more success

the whole day storytelling workshop yesterday was a success, too!

the children's library, where it was held, was jampacked. participants even came in earlier than the registration staff! we expected only around 30 participants, but ultimately, 64 were in, and they were all attentive, participative and energized by Manolo Silayan's very substantial and stimulating workshop.

at the end of the day, the participants organized themselves into Alitaptap (Firefly) Storytellers Association - Bacolod and even elected their own officers and set the date for their next meeting already!!!

which is what the whole "Books Build, Books Heal" campaign was about-- to tap, organize and develop a pool of volunteer storytellers for the Negros Museum's Storyteling for Children Program!!!

: ) : ) : )

ohhhhhh, thank you, God, for good friends, good and talented people, and everyone coming together to create something good for children and the culture of reading and books altogether!!!


i've been up since 2am starting and finishing the paper i am going to present at the Reading Association of the Philippines (RAP) Demofest today. it's 5:46am and im done and im proud of what i have come up with, too!!! : )

'good thing i kept files of old papers saved; it made my research and referencing easier and faster!

I am in the Heart of God.
I bask in God's Love and Abundance.

things just keep getting better and better!

thank you, God!!! : ) : ) : )

Friday, October 19, 2007


the wedding --- er, book launch : ) --- was what i hoped it would be: well-attended, by family, extended family and friends, both old and new; the books browsed through, read and bought (or bought and read) well; people coming up to me telling me their thoughts and feelings about the books; people having a good time mingling among themselves during the cocktails, while i sat in a corner signing the books; people bringing their kids and the kids moving around freely, browsing through the children's library (where the program was held) shelves, picking out books they liked, and reading intently even as the program went on; kids lining up too to have their books signed and personally addressed to them (one kid whom i asked what his name was, said, "Lastikman"! : >); people listening attentively to the short talks, my quite emotionally-laden talk, and Nolo's wonderful storytelling rendition of "Tight Times". i even got interviewed again by the ABS-CBN tv crew on the spot, just before the launch started, for the evening news! : ) : ) : )

it had the look, feel, ambiance that i couldn't really succinctly describe but secretly hoped it would have. almost the same look, feel, ambiance my dream wedding would have, when i wed again someday. : )

i bared my heart and soul at home, and home finally began to understand what my passion was about, and, with wide-open arms, welcomed me in.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

pre-wedding jitters

i have just sent out the last of the invitations.

it's the afternoon before my book launch tomorrow, right in my own home city, but it feels like im going to be wed!

i have had my two books actually previously launched-- the first book in 2004, at the University where i studied and now teach, but it was a small, intimate launch; the 2nd book at the recently held National Children's Book Day last July 17, at the Cultural Center of the Philippines in Manila, where I also received my second Philippine Board on Books for Young People (PBBY) Salanga Prize.

this time, though, i'm (re)launching them, right at home, and making it open to the public, right in the midst of the Masskara festivities, too.

somehow, i feel more jittery now than the previous two original launches.

it feels like i am going to be wed-- not to a person, but to my Dream, really casting my die now-- not just writing on the side, but writing children's books for keeps-- in front of everyone, right at HOME, where it could both hurt and heal.

somehow, it's okay to make your Dream public in faraway places and to people who don't know you; but at HOME???

that's why it feels more like a wedding than a book launch.

you wed only in front of people closest to you.

this is it, now, Dream. no turning back.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


it's 3:44 a.m. here; i've been up for around 40 minutes already.

even while apparently "doing" stuff, like checking my email now to clean up my inbox, i am as still as a baby who has just woke up.... a kind of alert, watchful stillness.

i am savoring this moment.

it's like the moments of stillness, of perfect bliss, that i get to in my meditations have transferred over to this moment, even when im not consciously meditating.

i have just jotted down all my things to do for this week. somehow, they don't disturb this stillness even, when before, a year or two ago, this would start me hyperventilating in anxiety and growing panic, at the so many things to do in so little time...

right now, i am just... still.

all is right with my world.

all is Perfect, in fact, even as all continually change.

in my meditations, my favorite and "highlight mantra", which i have coined my self, is this:

I am in the Heart of God.
I bask in God's Love and Abundance.

this is It, right now.

i'm living it.

i'm being it.

Thursday, October 04, 2007


Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Do you realize?

Do you understand where you are right now? You are in a
place, a time, and a set of circumstances toward which
you've been moving your entire life.

Do you realize the enormous opportunity that now exists? You
are more experienced and better prepared than ever before.

Each past failure is now a positive and valuable lesson that
you've learned about what works and what doesn't. All the
disappointments you've ever known have now combined together
to create a powerful and meaningful determination that
permeates your life.

By this point in your life, your dreams and desires are more
in line with who you truly are than they've ever been
before. And now you're perfectly positioned to actually
achieve them.

Do you realize how truly unique and powerful this very
moment is? This is the moment when you can begin to fulfill
your greatest possibilities.

This is the moment you've been working your way toward for a
long time. You are here at last, so fill your world with the
lifetime of richness that you're able to give.

Ralph Marston

This is the Daily Motivator email edition.
Copyright (C) 2007 Ralph S. Marston, Jr. All rights reserved.
Visit The Daily Motivator web site at for an
of more than 3,000 daily messages, inspirational photos and more.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

My Horoscope Today

Although you may not be inclined to play lightly with others now, it's just because you have more urgent business. Your emotions have opened wide and you don't want to miss the opportunity to feel something so strong. Still, there's that gnawing fear of the unknown. Don't try to talk your way out of this journey. Jump on in, for the water is wet and deep.

Monday, October 01, 2007

"Long Ago and Far Away..."

by Helen Forrest and Dick Haymes

Long ago and far away
I dreamed a dream one day
And now that dream is here beside me

Long the skies were overcast
But now the clouds have passed
You're here at last

Chills run up and down my spine
Aladdin's lamp is mine
The dream I dreamed was not denied me

Just one look and then I knew
That all I longed for long ago was you

Dreary days are over.
Life's a four-leaf clover.
Sessions of depressions are through.
Every hope I longed for long ago, comes true.

Long ago and far away
I dreamed a dream one day
And now that dream is here beside me

Long the skies were overcast
But now the clouds have passed
You're here at last

Chills run up and down my spine
Aladdin's lamp is mine
The dream I dreamed was not denied me

Just one look and then I knew
That all I longed for long ago was you

Just one look and then I knew
That all I longed for long ago
Was you.