today

today i leave for Atlanta, Georgia, to be with mama again, as well as with all my two other precious siblings.

in exactly 6 hours and 30 minutes, my sis Honey and i leave for the manila airport on our way out.

today is also a New Moon with a Solar Eclipse-- a time for fresh starts, and leaving the past behind.

6 years ago today, i arrived from Hungary and Romania via Paris, my first trip abroad-- the day after the world changed and terror struck half a globe away-- deciding i didn't want to be married anymore.

... oh how much i've grown and how far i've come since then!

...

my bags are packed, my papers ready.

but my old life is still hanging on.

as i write this at almost 5am, running against time running out--

- i have to finish updating my personal and business, especially the business, emails, as i will be offline for at least 2 days;

- finish autographing the books for distribution in 3 hours;

- finish writing the solicitation letter to our Chinese Family Association for sponsoring the book launch cocktails;

- finish checking my students' Grad. School papers and return them later this morning (or maybe i should just ask Thea to bring these to the Grad. School later in the day, huh? but still, i have to finish checking...)

- deliver the books, the solicitation letter and the Grad. School papers;

- by 6am, call the water tank repairman again to come ASAP as the water tank chose to break down again last night, the eve of my departure (but i focus on the silver lining: at least this happens now while im still here and i can do something about it, not when the kids are left alone with the housekeeper to fend for themselves);

- still feeling mixed emotions from the recent outburst with B... and just finished watching Belief.net's "Give Each Feeling Its Time" short video clip, which is making me deeply reflective about Love's Lessons again, NOW, when i also have to be working double-time too, and can't really afford to muse and contemplate (i can do that later in the airport and in the looooong flight)...

today, i leave for a new phase in my life, a new world and adventure, even if only for a month. i am sure i will come back transformed, as most trips usually inspire... fast-tracking personal transformations because of the temporary hold on living up to the everyday social pressures and roles one has to conform to in mundane life...

today, i leave, and yet some part of me holds back, too.