parenting moments

these all happened yesterday--

1. Paolo calls me up to ask if he can spend New Year's Eve with his boy cousins from his Dad's side. (He's been out of the house since their Christmas break started last Dec. 21, first sleeping over at his cousins from my side, then with his cousins from his father's side... everyone loves having him around, and we have to "schedule" his visits because everyone wants him first!)

anyway, i say, "sure, palangga (dear)."

silent pause from him. "aren't you mad at me, ma?"

me: "why would i be mad, palangga?"

paolo: "because i haven't been home for so long. they say you're going to get mad at me."

me: "are you happy where you are 'langga? do they feed you well? are you safe?"

paolo: "yes, i am, ma!"

me: "that's what matters, langga. of course i miss you, but what matters is you're happy where you are."

i could see him grinning at the other end of the phone.

paolo: "you sure are a strange mom, but im glad you're my mom! i love you, ma!!!"


***


2. i was lying on my tummy in bed, writing on my journal, last night. Bea was beside me, happily chatting away while i nod from time to time and say, "uh...huh..."

after a while, i sense her squirming around and wriggling on the bed, her arms stuck to her sides. "what are you doing,'langga?", i asked her.

"i'm a worm," she says.

"why are you being a worm?" i ask.

"i want to know how worms move," she explains.

so i let her squirm around on the bed, even as i try to write.

after a while, she declares, "i move by pushing my knees, mama. but worms don't have knees... so, how do they move?"

(this was the little girl who once asked me too if ants had eyelashes, and what our eyebrows are for!)

: )

well, what could i say except my standard reply these days, "Look it up in Google."

: ) : ) : )

***

3. after dinner, while cleaning up, Thea blurts out to me, "Ma, L (her groupie friend from their band) says he likes me!"

i grin at her and say, "i know."

"how do you know, ma?"

"i saw him gazing at you the last time i brought you to your band practice. he had this shy, lovesick look in his eyes."

"he asked me to watch a movie with him, and i don't want to!" but she's smiling as she says this.

"uh... oh... just tell him you're not allowed to go on couple dates yet 'langga. (until this moment, i have never mentioned this to her.) group dates, yes, but no couple dates until you're 18 or 20..."

"i know, ma (she knows??? how???), but it's not that... i just see him as a brotherly friend... i already like R (this other guy from another school who calls her on the phone every night; i haven't met him so i don't like him yet!)... i don't want to be playing around!"

(playing around, my God! it's not as if they're committed or something, and i tell her so. and then i pick up where i left off in my lecture and try to explain to her as gently as i can that even i didn't go on couple dates until after college, because her grandpa was so strict, and i realize only now why and he was right, about curiosity and trying not to get too involved with someone or something you're not ready for yet, yada, yada, etc.)

thea cuts me off gently with just 3 words: "yes, ma. hormones."

i stare at her, and then i smile sheepishly as she smiles understandingly... like i was some kid she was patiently humoring.

huh???!!! : O

My Favorite Quotes Today

"Initial response illustrates a great deal about someone's personal philosophy." -- Jim Rohn

***

"A character is a completely fashioned will." -- Novalis

***

And this one, from my favorite author:

"Pure logic is the ruin of the spirit." -Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Something Old, Something New

it's that time of the year again-- a time for looking back and looking forward, reviewing old dreams and creating new ones, which usually includes dreams for a better, happier, more abundant life, including money but not just money.

i've talked about this in my other blog. some visitors here may visit my other blog too, so this might already be familiar. still, here it is again, The Science of Getting Rich, in capsule form--

There is a universal energy from which all things are made. This energy fills the entire universe.

When you form a thought in your head, you tap into this energy, and you actually create that which you are thinking about.

Mankind has the ability to create a thought and cause the subject of the thought to be created within this field of Universal Energy.

To activate this ability, we must learn to harness our creative mind. Typically, we function with our competitive mind. But to create things with thought, we need to activate the creative mind.

We can come into harmony with this Universal energy through the act of expressing gratitude. Gratitude unifies our mind with this all encompassing Universal energy.

To manifest something new, simply hold an image of what you seek in your mind. And express gratitude to the Universe for having granted this to you. To achieve wealth, apply this same principle - hold a clear vision of the wealth you hope to attain. Then express gratitude that this wealth is coming to you. You must have unwavering faith and devout gratitude.

All that you include in your mental image will come to you through the physical realm - through the process of natural ways such as trade and commerce.

To claim this wealth, you must be active. You must do all that you can do each day to make this vision a reality. Especially strive to deliver to others something of value greater than what they paid you for.

Those who practice these instructions will get rich. And the riches they receive will be in the exact proportion to the definiteness of their vision, the fixity of their purpose, the steadiness of their faith, and the depth of their gratitude.

To participate in a free online course on The Science of Getting Rich, please click here.

To download a free copy of Wallace Wattles' 1910 book in ebook form, please click here.

Happy, Prosperous New Year, everyone!

My Life in 2008

my numerology forecast from Tarot.com (it has a free basic numerology calculator you can download, too!) for 2008 (i'm posting it here for easy reference and review in 2008 : >)--

This is a year of dynamic change, Jeanette. Many surprises will come your
way. Be open and ready to embrace new opportunities.

Do not be overly careful this year. This is a year in which a major step forward
can take place if you are willing to take some calculated risks and do a little
gambling. Wisdom and prudence is the key, but you will definitely be faced with
choices that require fast action and a willingness to act before all the facts are in.

This is an exciting year in which you will be required to promote yourself in
order to take full advantage of the opportunities that await you.

There will be increased opportunity to travel and possibly a change of
residence.

You may be tempted by the desires of the flesh: too much food, alcohol, sex,
and drugs. Be careful and discriminate. You could make mistakes in these
areas.

You will have some unexpected adventures and lucky breaks this year.

This can be an unsettling year if you try to cling to outmoded methods or
characteristics. This a year to throw off the old and adopt the new. It is a rebirth and a release after last year's struggle.

This is a year in which change takes place consistently, and particularly so in
April and May. July is a breakthrough, a time to enjoy life. September can be
intense, while October requires tact and balance in relationships.


a change in residence?! desires of the flesh?!!!

heehee... interesting year coming up, indeed!

bring 2008 on!

***

(Click here for a free sample Numerology Report)

2007 Book Launch

the age of innocence

while sitting here just now, distractedly cleaning up my yahoo mailbox (still stuck at 300plus : <), paolo comes up to me grinning widely and giggling and trying to control himself as he whispers to me--

i know now there is no Santa Claus!

i turn around, half-surprised (in the back of my mind, i sensed him earlier going through the whole house opening and closing drawers and closets... somehow i suspected he was looking for their gifts...), but feigning innocence --

what do you mean? i say.

he danced around me and whispered as he giggled even more--

i saw our gifts in yaya's (their nanny) room, covered with a blanket!

what else could i do but grin back, sheepishly?

***

after some moments, i asked him though--

how do you feel, palangga (dear)? don't you feel sad or cheated?

he quickly hugged me and said--

noooooo, ma! i think it's funny, youuuuu!!!! i love you, ma!!!

***

and then bea came up to sit on my lap, asking what all the giggling was about.

paolo and i looked at each other, and i just said--

ohhh nothing, palangga... we just read something funny in my email.

bea wanted to know what the email was about, and i said i deleted it already.

***

just yesterday, bea woke up excitedly to find a handwritten note on special paper with glittering fairy dust underneath her pillow.

mama, look! the tooth fairy came!!!

(of course, it was thea who made the specially crafted note, while i inserted the P100 bill, the night before...)

this is what the "tooth fairy" wrote--

Dearest Beatrice,

You have been a very good girl this year. I and the faeries have been very proud of your kind and generous acts.

I have told Santa of your wonderful behavior this year, and he might be on his way to give you what you asked for on your wishlist. I also told him about your brother. He, too, has been a very good boy. Your older sister is a sweetheart, and so is your mother. Be good to all of them.

Inserted within this letter is my little reward for you.

I hope you continue to be the wonderful girl that you are now.

Merry Christmas,
Fyora

: ) : ) : )

My Message from the Universe Today : )

It's not just that when one door closes, another door opens.

When one door closes, Jeanette, choirs burst into chorus, orchestras orchestrate, bugles bugle, marching bands march, dogs catch Frisbees, cats 'chow, chow, chow,' pigs fly, and 10,000 new doors open.

Kind of makes you want a door to close, huh?

The Universe
P.S. Another door opens, Jeanette... "good grief."

Did You Know 2.0

the power of technology in changing lives... how are we dealing with it in a way that affirms our humanity, not devalues it?

My Daemon, Apollonious : )

moving the Dream forward

it's 5:50 a.m. here. i am about to prepare my favorite spot for meditation, but Thea left the pc on when she went to sleep and the light from the pc screen draws me like a moth to a flame, as always. : )

so i check my emails just to get a quick run-through of what's in. (there're still 278 emails in my yahoo left to clean up! sigh.)

i am quickly attracted to two emails from the same sender, though.

they are from the new york-based literary agency i applied with online for sending two more of my children's stories to last december 11.

they want to see my work for evaluation!!! : )

***

they explain their criteria for evaluation: commercial viability of the work, writing skills of the author, and whether the evaluator personally likes/is touched by the work.

i think im good with the writing skills part already, and so far, i have gotten good feedback from these two stories, which have already been workshopped twice. it's just the commercial viability aspect i still need more information on, though.

i've submitted these to local publishers here; they like it, but i think, because of the topical themes involved (bullying/violence in school and a mother's breast cancer), they are hesitant about its "commercial viability". hmmmmm.

but i believe in my stories. im one writer who doesn't write until the idea really grabs me and won't let me go. i don't waste time writing and re-writing when i don't have a solid idea that has grabbed me yet, so i just usually simmer and "think-write" for years. so, because i believe in these stories, im sending them out again and again and again, even if that will take me the rest of my life doing it. : )

im casting my net wider, though. and it's in line with my lifelong dream of going international someday, getting my stories read by people of all ages, races, creeds and persuasions everywhere, and touching people's lives for the better in some way...

***

some days ago, i received a free subscription newsletter from one of these "gurus" who've made a success of making money online, and i was struck by what he said-- that the only difference between Success and Failure is Action, that those who eventually succeed spend time each day acting on their Dream, moving it a little bit forward in whatever way, if they can't move it much yet... and not listening to naysayers at all (there will always be naysayers anyway)!

and that's precisely how im spending my days here now, just acting on my Dreams a little bit more each day, helping the manifesting process along any which way i am moved to do so. im also not listening much to naysayers anymore; i've gotten rid of that habit years ago! : )

God bless me, God bless these Dreams, God bless my Path and the people I meet and work with along the way!

Dotcomology: Everything You Needed to Know

This FREE ebook is what I'm studying right now. It's downloadable free from here.

Here are additional FREE newbie training videos, too! : )

If one is resourceful and persistent enough, one doesn't really have to spend a lot to start an online business of one's own, that's what I'm learning these days.

Why I Like PIPS

this is one of the reasons why i decided to go for Stone Evans' PlugInProfits System (PIPS)-- the regular FREE newsletter (i signed up for the free newsletter weeks ago, before i decided to be part of the PIPS) content i'm getting on the way to building my own online business. a sample of their honest-to-goodness, direct advise is shown below (of course, i also realized they would promote the advantage of PIPS but it convinced me since what they said makes sense), which helps me think, reflect and plan my own way through, too:


Fast-Track Your Journey to Home Business Success
Copyright © Stone Evans, The Home Biz Guy


No one has ever logged onto the Internet for the first time and
started pocketing dollars in a really short period of time. As
with all things in life, there is a learning curve.

SOME PERSONAL HISTORY

Just a few short years ago, I was a working stiff just like you.

One day, I bought and read a book called "Multiple Streams of
Income" by bestselling author, Robert Allen. Immediately, I
began my journey.

Every night after work and after my wife and children went to
sleep, I would get online and explore different ways of using the
Internet to make money.

In the two years that followed, I spent over $10,000 racking up
credit card debt buying eBooks, membership sites, special
reports, opt-in leads, and joining every "guru" recommended
business opportunity that flew into my email inbox.

I stayed up learning, working, and drinking coffee until 5:00 in
the morning, month after month filled with the hope of making
money online.

In my third year of working part-time to build a home based
income, I finally broke through and earned over $100,000 in just
twelve months from the Internet.

BECOME THE MASTER OF YOUR LEARNING CURVE

Research the lives of all of the "gurus." The one thing that
you will learn is that my own experience is not unique. Most of
the high earners on the Internet experienced a learning curve
very similar to my own.

Chances are that your curve will also be similar to mine, but it
is my hope that you can get to the top faster than even I did.
Three years was a long time to struggle, but every ounce of
struggle was worth the reward I have finally received.

In order to shorten your own learning curve, you must do a few
things differently than the rest of us did. You must become the
master of your learning curve.

THE SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS IS A STRAIGHT LINE

There is only one way to shorten the curve on the Internet:

You must plan to succeed!

Here is the deal. Most people put up a freebie website and select
a few affiliate programs to add to their website. Right out of
the gate, most people are running for the finish line without any
real plan in mind.

After a few short weeks, people begin to see the writing on the
wall that says, "This is going to be a long hard road."

People check their hit counters daily for six weeks before they
realize that getting traffic to their free site is going to be
tough.

At this point, they begin developing their first batch of
advertising. Then they spend countless months finding places to
show their advertisements for free. Some make an even more
drastic mistake by blowing thousands of hard earned dollars on
their new and untested ads.

These are the people who will learn the facts of life the hard
way.

In time, they will learn how to make their advertising work for
them, but most will earn very little money from their affiliate
programs.

At this point in the learning curve, most people throw up their
hands and walk away from their dreams in utter disgust. Instead
of a walking away point, this should have convinced the
struggling online entrepreneur that they were simply traveling
the wrong road.

YOU MUST PLAN TO SUCCEED

From day one, you must begin to learn about the nuances of web
promotion. Read everything you can get your hands on. Don't just
read the hype, back it up with the opinions of others who have
reviewed the same programs before you came along. Learn from
their mistakes and successes.

As you begin to learn, you must also look to make a decision. Do
you want to step into a pre-built program that is designed to
help you to succeed, OR do you want to create a completely new
program of which you are the sole owner?

If you decide to step into a pre-designed and complete turn-key
online money-making venture, then you must select the right
venture to step into. If this is your decision, I encourage you
to check out the Plug In Profit Site here.

If you decide to go the journey on your own, then do all of the
necessary research, planning and preparation that is needed for
your success.

PREPARE TO SUCCEED

Decide what you think you would want to do, and then figure out
how your planned site will generate a real income.

Internet old-timers know about hundreds of corporation domains
that existed with IPO millions, but did not have an actual money
plan that could sustain their business model. Most of these
companies were among the hundreds of companies that bellied up in
the 2000 dot bomb experience.

Don't blindly believe in your plan. Research others on the web
who have undertaken similar business models and see if they have
survived. Study your competitors in depth to learn what is
working for them and what did not work for them. To better
understand what has or has not worked for competitor websites,
check out their time lapsed progressions using the Wayback
Machine

Once you have determined your money plan, then you should
undertake the development of a business plan and a marketing
plan. Utilize professional assistance if you need to do so. While
creating your plans, make a determination as to which domain name
you think would be best, then register it along with a hosting
account. You can do this at Host4Profit in Step 2 on this page.


Once you have developed your business plan and marketing plan and
have run them through several revisions, then it will be time to
buy your domain name and to begin work with a site designer and
developer. You may need to have your domain sitting on a web host
for your site developer, but this is not always necessary. While
they are doing their work, enlist a copywriter to help you with
your site sales copy.

When your site designer and developer have your site working, you
should then undertake significant testing to make sure everything
works as planned. It is much harder to fix problems on a
operational site than it is to fix problems on a site that has
yet to be launched.

When testing is done, then you should fill in your sales copy and
then shoot for launch. Of course, you already have a marketing
plan in place, so your preparation here will be simply a matter
of putting the pieces of the puzzle into place.

You are finally ready to open for business. Don't be afraid to
spend the money to bring your dream alive. Time can replace money
in the goal of starting a profitable online business, but money
invested can shave years off of your company's growth.

About the Author:
------------------------------------------------------------
Stone Evans helps ordinary people all over the world make
money online with affiliate programs. If you can follow 3
easy steps, you can get your own customized website,
autoresponder (email follow-up software) and pre-written
email marketing campaign professionally designed and
installed and ready to pull in profits for you in 24 hours
or less! See details at and sign up today at:
PlugInProfits.

my own, my first!

i have my own and my first business site up and going now-- Avalanche Of Blessings!

of course, the really first business site of my own is the author website inspired by B, and which content im still currently working on. then, the mother site for this site, Avalanche Of Blessings.com, is something i'm also still currently working on, hopefully to be unveiled by Christmas Day.

it's just that, in the course of my research, i was also already itching to get some action done and see how it really is, like an on-the-job training even as i learn the principles of online marketing and keyword research and SEOS, etc.

so i found this site, PlugInProfits, and decided to invest in this test. they build your own site for you, set up your products and income streams for you, help you with responding to your customers, and many other stuff-- all you have to do is help market your site by generating traffic. in other words, it shortcuts all the other work of having your own internet business so you can just focus on generating income through effective marketing methods.

for an initial plunk down of only P60/day (that's just like eating one Happy Meal a day) for my first month and even much less in the suceeding months, i figured id take the tuition to learn more even as i already start earning. the alternative is to keep researching and learning,... and earning nothing yet. so, of course, im taking the more promising alternative.

anyway, im just on my second day now, getting familiar with all the resources PIPS (PlugInProfits System) provides, as well as contacting their helpdesk for every question that occurs to me. so far, they have been very patient and accommodating with me, even when i ask really stupid-sounding questions (hey, im a newbie, and im paying for this stuff! so i have that privilege :>) whose answers are either already in the FAQ or in some previous welcome email they sent.

and im having a lot of fun! : )

i question my self: what feeds my hunger for this new adventure? the money itself, which is the usual and most obvious reason? or something more?

hmmmm... in some ways, it is the money. it could sure help pay for a number of things the kids and i need and want... faster. but then, again, even without it, we're already happy as we are, and we'll either get those things we need and want eventually, or find we don't need or want them anymore somewhere down the line anyway.

i think it's something more. i've never been one to just work for money alone anyway. heck, i volunteer and help out in projects that fire my passion, even without getting paid!

i think it's about the challenge and thrill of conquering a new territory, a new as-yet unexplored world for me, and finding more about my strengths and gifts and limitations, too, in the process.

that's what's been missing lately from my previous work and even volunteer projects-- just more of the same. and i guess, i've been yearning for this new pioneer kind of feeling and challenge again.

more to update next time. i'm having a really interesting and fun time doing keyword research . heehee.... just for a taste of the interesting pieces of tidbits i'm discovering along the way-- i didn't realize "hot women" and "mature women" ranks way up there in the list of most often searched keywords more than "beautiful women" and "young women" are!!!

: ) : ) : )

getting serious

i am getting serious with my new dream. (hmmmm... well, it isn't really new, but the method for achieving it is... i've always envisioned myself working from home earning multiple streams of income as the ideal work and life style for me, and im well on my way there now with my offline freelance writing and paid speaking/training projects and all).

this time, though, i want to try out earning online, for my self. (there's the online family business i've been working on for 4 years now as one-woman customer care, marketing and liaison person, which has trained me and taught me to see how exciting and challenging the global world is out there, and how i --we Filipinos, actually-- can be up to par in engaging it successfully.)

heck, im on the net so much and have been quite a good customer of so many (mostly info) products and services all these years, i figured i might as well get on the other side of the fence and start sending the money flow my way too, instead of my just sending it out from me. : )

for the past two weeks now, i've been sleepless doing intensive research. it is amazing how i can't stand 30 minutes in one stretch doing the data analysis for my project paper, yet sit for hours on end lost in my business research.

i am starting to see my way through the forest and the fog, and i am very careful to hold on to my credit card and not buy guides here and there just because of their impressive sales pitch and marketing hype. im quite the gullible and impressionable type and i've learned my lessons already (i should, by now!).

needless to say, i am excited, if only to see where this will lead me. if there's one thing this one year break from my regular work is telling me clearly, it's that i don't want to go back anymore, i feel i have achieved all that i have set out to achieve there, and i want to explore new challenges now, on my own, and being on my own.

my excitement is double this morning. a few days ago, i signed up FREE for this affiliate training site, and today, i just got an email telling me i've just had my first affiliate signing up under my account! : )

what i like about SFI is the training and support it gives, especially to newbies like me, and also the opportunity for me to train and help others as i also learn and grow. my education and training background comes in very handy, also my online personalized customer care experience from the family business. when one signs up, one is interviewed for one's background and goals, which helps them help you better. and so far, the assistance I've been getting is helping me ease out of my anxieties and confusion, at least.

it looks like it has a good track record, too, from the research ive done so far. it's been operating offline since 1985 and online since 1998, a member of the Better Business Bureau, as well as the International Association of Home Business Entrepreneurs (IAHBE).

anyway, baby steps. i'll share my progress as they come. : )

p.s. maybe, in a way, i have indeed been "dying" lately-- dying to an old way of life, of thinking, of perceiving possibilities, and being born to this new one, the world of endless, global possibilities!

God bless my way, as God has always done so!

my favorite quote today

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature… Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. -Helen Keller

my last trip

"Give everyone thy ear, but few thy voice." - William Shakespeare

this might as well sum up how i've been lately, especially during my last trip for this year, the one the PJ team took to conduct a training in cagayan de oro.

unlike in previous trips, i dreaded leaving home, and i was excited to come back home. during the stay, i was mostly reclusive, keeping to my self. when people stayed out later at night to drink, sing karaoke, eat and fellowship some more, i went straight to my resort cottage to read, write, meditate and sleep early. of course, i woke up earlier than most everyone else, too, and i did more of the same. i also took long, solitary early-morning walks up and down the mountain resort.

i wondered at my own subtle yet powerful change, too. i wondered if i was dying soon, really. how come the things that used to thrill me and excite me, like going away on trips to exotic and not so exotic places, only tire me now? how come i just want to stay home most of the time now? how come i'm starting to painfully long for my very special someone to be with me here, now, in all ways, to share all these things im seeing, doing, experiencing?

if i wasn't dying soon, i wondered if this is what it means about really "settling down"... or growing middle-aged. : )

and i wondered all these wonderings mostly during the looooooong waits (due to constantly delayed flights) at packed airports.

it got bad at the manila domestic airport on the way home. across me was a middle-aged British-looking guy happily snuggling with his pretty 30-ish something Filipina wife (i looked at their hands; they both wore identical wedding rings). seated right in front of me was a much older couple, an American guy who pretended playing slave to his bossy Filipina wife, but one could see they adored each other with the way they gazed at each other even as they talked.

i wanted to transfer seats, but it was jampacked, the only alternative was to stand or walk around while waiting for my flight.

it didn't help that surprisingly, for this trip, i didn't particularly enjoy talking to my travelling companions either, whose talk only further tired me out.

i have had a lot going on in my mind lately, even before the trip, mostly about my life direction and career plans, and how i just want to stay home now and write, and care for my kids... and hopefully, my future husband someday soon... if God brings me to that, as i find more ways to just stay home and earn multiple streams of income so i don't jeopardize my kids' comfort and long-term security...

i just don't like talking to people much nowadays.

the first night i was back home, i wept my self to sleep.

these last two days though, i have mostly been on the pc, alone and quietly, studying keywords and search engine optimization and home-based online business stuff... still, i've been mostly living in my head these days.

sigh.

what is happening to me???

thank God the kids at least seem to understand, as they just patiently let me be and try not to get in my way too much.

sigh.

i want this last trip of the year to be my last trip now (although i know there are still 3 or 4 upcoming trips first half of next year again... sigh!).

the next trips i want to take, i just want to take with my kids and special someone already, no more with other people.

many sighs.