pre-wedding jitters

i have just sent out the last of the invitations.

it's the afternoon before my book launch tomorrow, right in my own home city, but it feels like im going to be wed!

i have had my two books actually previously launched-- the first book in 2004, at the University where i studied and now teach, but it was a small, intimate launch; the 2nd book at the recently held National Children's Book Day last July 17, at the Cultural Center of the Philippines in Manila, where I also received my second Philippine Board on Books for Young People (PBBY) Salanga Prize.

this time, though, i'm (re)launching them, right at home, and making it open to the public, right in the midst of the Masskara festivities, too.

somehow, i feel more jittery now than the previous two original launches.

it feels like i am going to be wed-- not to a person, but to my Dream, really casting my die now-- not just writing on the side, but writing children's books for keeps-- in front of everyone, right at HOME, where it could both hurt and heal.

somehow, it's okay to make your Dream public in faraway places and to people who don't know you; but at HOME???

that's why it feels more like a wedding than a book launch.

you wed only in front of people closest to you.

this is it, now, Dream. no turning back.