around this time last year-- well, five days ago, to be exact, this time last year-- i started blogging, and i started with this blog.
i look at my entries then, and i remember things id rather choose to forget, even as i also remember things i never even knew i wrote or happened.
i see me, still with the same openness (too open, sometimes, to the point of indiscrimination) and candor (too candid, even, to the point of bluntness)... and at some parts i cringe at who i was then, what i've written, while at other parts i smile and shake my head in amusement.
what i most sense between then and now though... is the change in tone. there seems to be less coarseness, less roughness, less bleeding over, less pain, in how i write now, than how i wrote a year ago. there's also less bravado, more depth and insight; less showing off and bragging, more discretion and tasteful honesty. like ive moved from being Sally Jesse Raphael or Roseann Barr to Oprah. teehee.
a year ago, too, i only had this blog; now there's four (make that five, if we include my Friendster blog, which is actually just an echo of any of the other four, at any one time)! these offspring of blogs seemed to naturally gestate, be born and grow even as i gestated new births, birthed and grown my self too-- as a woman, as a writer, and as soul and spirit. ive been blogging so much now, i have few and far-between entries in my handwritten journal now.
happy birthday, blog.
happy birthday, dear heart.