Sunday, February 25, 2007

Life These Days

summer's here, even if technically, it starts when school lets out, or when april 1st comes.

the little ones are outside; they have retrieved their portable pool from storage and filled it up with water. they are frolicking and cavorting in carefree abandon now, as Thea lounges by the sofa watching her current favorite, "Dream Girls", while i take a break from checking exams in between reading chapters of a book/brushing my teeth/ writing on my journal just to break the monotony... it's our usual lazy relaxing Sunday afternoon. : )

i have yet to upload the Peace Journalism 2 training pics and the pics showing the fun we had with our first white water rafting adventure in Cagayan de Oro City, even as i still glow from the memories of the mini vacation.

i have come to certain realizations recently about my dear friends and colleagues with PJ; it's tough and challenging with us 3 firstborn, passionate, stubborn, dynamic women working together; lately, i thought i wanted to give up and let go... but after deep soul-searching and reflection, i realized again how important our work Ideal is, not only to us, but to the bigger world out there, and despite our clashing personalities sometimes, we do love each other so, and i am touched when L tells me how A tries to imitate me in my meditations now, even as i feel for L and all the aggravations she has to go through... my major realization was that i am stepping up now to take my rightful place as true national coordinator, reclaiming my self and power, in that area, so to speak, and stop letting them or others define my role for me, because of my more laid-back laissez faire way of doing things.

i turn 39 in 3 days, even if there's no february 29. and i have already made plans for a special celebration, even so. (i used to not like celebrating much when there's no feb. 29, as i felt like an impostor borrowing some other dates for my birthday. but what the heck, this time, i claim as i wish!)

in the evening of feb. 28, the kids and i go out to some real restaurant (not fastfood) for some fine dining experience. in the evening of march 1, i am going to wear the exquisite tan-colored soft top Mama gave me, complete with pearls and soft black cocktail slacks and gold sandals, to a violin and piano concert of international award winning artists coming to Bacolod for the National Arts Fair.

Thea's coming with me, and we'll be meeting two older (60ish) women friends of mine there for the soul treat. afterwards, i promised them i'd treat them to dinner too somewhere we can relax and converse... richness, simple joys, friends, life's Abundance. what a way to kick off my 39th year!

im growing in the regularity and effects of my almost-daily meditations these days, even as i devour old books (some re-reading, some reading them for the first time) from my personal library, reading 2 or 3 simultaneously. they seem to have taken on a life of their own, though, as if im in some sort of accelerated personalized curriculum, guided and led to certain particular books and chapters and passages cross-referencing each other, as i grow in thought and feeling, and process these all in my journal.

i've just finished Sam Keen's The Passionate Life, even as i'm rereading now Edgar Cayce's Readings on Home and Marriage: There Will Your Heart Be Also, and about to start Ralph Lewis' The Sanctuary of the Self.

im sleeping deeper these days, too, with striking dreams i remember and journalize afterwards, and which reveal to me precious insights about my life and the direction it's taking...

one month more, and my 14-month leave starts. yipppeeee!!!! im just tying up loose ends now, finishing unfinished business from my university work, so i can fully savor my leave.

even so, things are opening up for me now in the direction of my truest Joys.

i have just finished reading my first book, Papa's House, Mama's House, at a poetry-reading session last week (mine is children's fiction, of course, but the organizers thought the sound and sense integrity of my story was poetic too! : > ), and will talk to a class of graduate school literature students in another school next saturday about children's fiction.

M and i are in a settled, quiet time, and i am learning to actually savor and revel in it now, instead of the anxious worrying and fretting i used to do before. Love's timeless ways are moving me in timeless directions, and i am loving it now, once i've gotten past the hurdle of my own fears.

Life is Good.

Thank You, God and The Universe!!! ohhhhhh HUGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSS!!!


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