Thursday, February 07, 2008

Love remains

one of the last things Mama was doing before she had her stroke was to search the Internet for an electric wheelchair she could charge to her Medicare and send to Papa. one of her last emails to me "complained" about having to fill out so many forms online it made her head ache and her body tired... although it was palpably obvious from her tone that she was enjoying feeling useful and powerful and in some sort of control and significant contribution, too, for a change.

in the last few days here, too, during one of Papa's few waking and lucid moments, he would talk about how it was when Mama gave birth to my sister, Honey, 38 years ago, and was in critical condition due to complications. he would recall snippets of events, like how a nun came up to him and asked for donations, when he was hard pressed to pay for the hospital bills, and how the nun was so obnoxiously aggressive he snapped at her and even told her that if she weren't a nun he would slap her. (that's Papa, alright! :S ) he also recalled how he felt so scared and stressed looking for Mama's Type AB blood all over the city, and even had blood chartered in from Cebu just to save her. the other day, when Honey was with him, he finally asked how Mama was doing in Georgia, and Honey, without really telling him Mama just had a stroke and is in critical condition, told him how she's in the hospital too and suffering so.

...

actually, despite their polar differences in many ways and their stormy 22-year marriage (i can never recall a day of complete peace and rest, it was either up or down, amplified to the nth degree), they are also essentially alike: stubborn, willful, and passionate fighters both who won't take sh_t from anyone.

my brother, Tope, and i, recently texted about this and shared how they also basically just differed in how they expressed these same qualities: she, positively; he, negatively so. we even half-joked in our commiseration: maybe they both are really destined to be together, after all. true soulmates. : )

or maybe, we just want to comfort ourselves and make ourselves feel better with this thought, too.

somehow, though, i have started to sleep well and peacefully again.

Love remains.

in the end, or whatever happens now, i sleep with this knowing.

Love remains.

this may be their finest legacy to us three. after all is said and done and all the detours and journeys taken all around, up and down--

Love remains.
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