the cooking fuel did run out last night, and i quickly texted my sister to ask if i could collect only even 1/3 of the amount she borrrowed from me for now, with the rest payable today as promised, or even next week.
thankfully, she came by last night to pay me back the 3k in full, the 500 of which i used to purchase the cooking fuel early this morning. with 2500 in my wallet again, i was feeling quite rich, calculating that only very little things in the household needed replenishment, i would have a comfortable amount left after doing groceries today, enough to tide me over until the 15th next week, when my reguarlar pay from my day job comes.
now, i am home, with a full fridge and a happy little girl eating the food she picked at the grocery store.. but with an almost empty wallet again.
i am still reeling from how fast food and grocery prices have risen along with car fuel prices; there was a time early this year when i could do two weeks' worth of food and groceries on a 3000 pesos budget, 4000 if i allowed the kids their food "luxuries"... but today, it's barely enough for a week! there was a time too when my car could run happily on just 500 pesos worth of fuel a week, full tank each time, but today, even 1500 each week, on the same route, can barely make full tank.
times like these, it's easy to get discouraged when i look all around me and see so many "For Sale" and "For Rent" signs on houses and on cars. times like these, it's very tempting to keep my eyes focused on what's happening, and forget about my desires of what i want to happen in my life.
but i must remind my self that i mainly moved forward exponentially in my life in the past three years, both internally and externally, by keeping my eyes focused on my inner riches and dreams instead, that dreams have come true because i kept my eye on the ball carrying them, to the point of simply ignoring present realities and living with them gracefully, because my mind, heart and soul were intent on something else-- the good, the better, the best that were coming to me and my children.
God help me keep my eye on the ball, today, especially, when it seems so difficult to do so.