Sunday, September 04, 2005

Life These Days

Mama called me this morning to ask about how i am, how the children are, what's new these days... gently chastising me in her own roundabout way for my not updating my blog .... : ) so here goes...

hmmmm... what do i "report", huh, since there's nothing earthshaking to tell these days? : )

after the angst and agony of writing those three stories for the contest, i've sort of been coasting along, decompressing in a sense, although now that i've stimulated my subconscious, it keeps on generating story ideas for me in my head, bothering me at the oddest hours of the day and night, so i keep my notebook handy and the pc on almost all the time these days, to catch a title, or the beginning lines of a story... so much so that now, in just a little more than a week, i have four more stories in progress!

also, i've mainly been occupying my self with checking papers and doing grades these days, as well as with my MA Conflict and Reconciliation Studies online and weekend offline classes. there are so many new things im learning about peace and conflict, and conflict analysis, conflict mapping,.... it's all a series of fireworks in my mind!

so you can say ive been on a full and rich mental feast, lately. : )

then, too, i've been mainly reading "abundance" articles and material on the web, starting with The Science of Getting Rich. : )

it's about time. i want more, and im ready for more, and i do sincerely believe now i deserve more, that there has got to be more to life than plodding along financially, when abundance is our birthright!

i've always known about these principles before, from so many readings and courses and practices (from meditation to Silva to Napoloen Hill to Og Mandino to Richard Bach, name it, i've been through it) but the free e-book from The Science of Getting Rich somehow distills them all into fundamentals, and they are all falling into place for me now, making sense and order and clearer meaning...

so im working on being more consciously focused on my dreams and desires now, keeping my mind well fed and keeping mental rubbish away, being grateful every day for what i have, and manifesting abundance and prosperity in all the ways that i am and can be, sharing whatever i can with others, expecting my good, preparing for my good...

even cleaning out my closets and sorting through my stuff and reorganizing my files and books (still undone... going through it little by little) has meaning now-- in abundance literature, it's part of clearing out space for your good to fill in!

although...i must admit, too... it has been quite a challenge very recently.

after paying for the downpayment on a new airconditioning unit for Thea's room, i found my budget suddenly tightened, but which i thought could last me till the next payday. however, "emergency" expenses (the little kids' wanting some extra special food cravings) tightened my budget further, and i found my self suddenly getting a bit anxious about it not being able to last us till next payday. i computed and re-computed in my head, and decided to move some items around in my mental list a bit, like asking Thea and Paolo to bring their own lunch to school for this week, instead of my giving them a daily allowance to buy their lunch from the school food court.

still, knowing what i do know now from all my review of abundance literature, i made extra effort not to fall into worrying mode. i decided that my worrying won't add a single peso to my budget anyway, so why worry? : ) instead, i struggled to really apply the abundance principles this time-- keep my mind focused on my goals and desires for the kids and i, being grateful every day and night, counting my blessings, staying positive...

it is strange how the Universe indeed answers prayers.

one of my unspoken anxieties was where to get the extra funds to buy more rice till next payday. before, rice wasn't a problem because Papa used to purchase sacks of rice for his own household, and since i separated from my ex-husband and lived on my own with my children three years ago, his way of showing me his love and support was to let me get rice from him whenever i needed it, as well as bread from our bakery too, for free. but his stocks have run out since two months ago, and i have been buying my own rice again since.

however, just yesterday, my stepsister texted me to tell me that Papa told her to tell me that i can get rice again from their house today, as his stocks have been replenished! : O

amazing timing, huh.

so i thanked God for it, and took it as a sign from God telling me that the kids and i will be alright, that our needs would be provided for till next payday at least, ... and not to worry anymore. it also reminded me of many many similar other "magical coincidences" before, help arriving at the last minute, in so many ways and from so many sources, that God always provides, that there's always more where that comes from...

and so, today, im back to my abundance mood again, after a day of anxiety and near-worry. : ) i don't even bother to calculate and recalculate my budget in my head anymore, just trusting that everytime i take a bill out from my wallet to pay for something, it will be replenished. (i learned that too, from experience! talk about multiplication of fish and loaves if you don't count what's there, but just give and give and give!)

this reminds me now, too, of Mama's recent "adventure" in asking largely, which i'd like to share here, with her permission. for those not familiar with her situation yet, Mama is a breast cancer survivor and a triple-heart bypass survivor and is now on her dialysis treatment for her kidneys, too. still, people comment on how she looks healthy and vibrant anyway, even healthier and more vibrant than other so-called normally healthy people, because of her spunk and spirit and optimism. she's also the creator of the online business i am involved in now as sole sales and customer service person in charge , helping the kids and i a lot in terms of added income (in US dollars at that), and training me for global business. how she is as a person and how she turns things around into something that works out for her good anyway is always an amazing and inspiring and educational lesson for me and my kids in asking largely and in serendipity and in abundance and in how there is still a good, loving God out there. Thea likes to call her grandmother, "Grand". : )

recently, while on her way from a dialysis treatment, she wrecked her car, but she came out amazingly unscathed and still alive. the car was so damaged the insurance company declared it a total wreck. still, life goes on. so she needed some form of transportation to get her to and from her dialysis treatments, as well as to ship our business orders. that was her main concern...

here is her story which i copied from her email to me and family. Her name is Lourdes but people call her Ludy. Larry is her husband, best friend and true love : ) --

For a while there (about a month), I tried to cooperate with everybody's suggestion
that I take the ride that senior citizens get from the D
ialysis Clinic.


I had a hard time adjusting to my predicament since I was also treated like one of
them HANDICAPPEDS. I had to wait for Larry to come home
before we
can
deliver the express orders, sometimes he had to work till 8:30 PM
and
the cut-off
time is 8:00PM. We had to eat supper late, since I want to
run
to the post office
immediately.


After the first month was over, I declared to Larry...that THIS IS ENOUGH!...I am
not going to ride with the elderly anymore. I was
beginning
to feel like a handicapped
myself and feeling the same way they
are.....acting like ZOMBIES.....!!!


Larry asked how I was going to the clinic without a ride. I said firmly, that I am
going to take his car and bring him to his office and pick
him
up later, whether he
likes that or not.


So, my first day to use his car, I had the car evaluated by a mechanic since his
oil was leaking. The mechanic suggested that we not take the
car
in the highway
anymore, since the car will have the tendency to
explode.
The leak was all around
the engine.


So, when I told Larry about it....he thought of trading it in. He said we will get a good car
within the budget of $500.00 - $600.00 per month
installment.

When we went around the car dealers......I asked the last one jokingly if

he could make us a deal of two cars at the price of one.

Ha...ha...ha..ha..... He did! and so Larry and I have a new car each now!!!

His is a 2005 Chevy Cavalier and mine is a 2005 Toyota Rav 4 SUV.

Whatever Ludy wants......Ludy gets......Hehehehhh...

Thank you! Thank you....Baby Jesus....


: ) : ) : )
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