This Life I Live

at times like right now, i shake my head at the kind of life i live.

there's a measure of stability now, more or less, but moments still come up when, because of my inherent good faith in things working out, and my creative open nature, i do things at the last minute (but perform oh so well!), causing me and those around me both anxiety and thrill at how i will be able to orchestrate things in perfect timing so that they turn out well... at the last minute.

i promised a friend today a long overdue date to a mongolian buffet lunch and a spa massage treat, in "payment" for her being so good to me last May, when, also because of my last-minute habit, the flight we were both going to take for a speaking engagement i was going to and which she was going to assist in, bumped her off in favor of me, because we both lost our seats coming in after check-in deadline.

i did schedule today weeks ago. and i did schedule today to use some funds from a writing project i did and earned weeks ago. however, i deposited the check only last thursday, but the bank teller did tell me it was going to be cleared today.

i am getting fidgety now, though-- the funds haven't cleared yet, and im down to my last P20... although i have my butterfly biz commission of around 40k hopefully coming in via bank transfer by noon today, too.

so, it's another magic act to orchestrate. it is both exhilirating yet wearying on the nerves, too, this "dangerous" life i live. : (

next time i will do better. my friend deserves more from me than this. : (