no, i still didn't any receive any roses, card or chocolates from a special man. and no, i still didn't get treated to any romantic dinner with plans for a more romantic and sexier getaway later on-- but heck, so what? how can i miss what i've never had? : )
today is the first valentine's day for me though that i didn't cringe nor stew in resentment for not being part of the special day. i made it special for me.
as a result of my Ancient Paths experience (i know i still have to write about that one), i did two very unexpected things today: i gave the ex a valentine gift, and gave Papa a valentine tribute.
the ex's gift was nothing huge; it was just a small green (his favorite color is green) scented candle with the letters "PEACE" engraved on it. and this is what i wrote on the card: "now that our 'mutual freedom' looms, i release and bless you to your joy. know that i have forgiven you and i, and that i don't regret the past. happy valentine's day!"
the tribute to Papa took longer and was emotionally costlier to make. i wrote little notes on all the things i learned from him, what he did right as a father, what i appreciate about him, as well as pasted baby and childhood pictures of me with him, on a little album made of handcrafted paper.
one insight from the seminar struck me, about how we write and speak beautiful eulogies to our parents and loved ones once they're dead but how we never even let them know how much we appreciated them when they were still alive...
i guess this valentine's day is a sort of closure for me. saying goodbye to the past and blessing the past, even as i clear space now to make room for truly happy valentine's days ahead!