leaving the past behind,
shedding old skin
while waiting
for new
anything
is possible.
suddenly
old passions
are rekindled--
books,
words,
writing,
travel,
classical music
and jazz,
watching films again,
free unstructured time by my self,
enjoying my children,
long walks,
Nature trips,
pasta,
salads,
rich coffee,
art,
paintings,
pictures,
deer,
horses,
tigers and leopards...
as i reach out
for new desires--
the possibilities of
learning how to dive,
belly dance,
SQL,
e-marketing,
travel writing;
and rediscovering
the giving
and receiving
of good, pleasurable loving
without the guilt
and baggage
of shoulds
and should nots.
just being
and becoming
me,
and more of me,
at last.
4 comments:
right on, sister!!!!!!!!!!!
what is SQL?
it's a computer program for working with databases, tim. we need it for the online biz. im having private tutorials with a colleague on it during weekends... ; )
background on the online business:
it was my mom's biz when she went there in 1988. she used to sell these handmade butterfly wings at arts and crafts shows all over the US, and for some time, at her small boutique at a mall in Georgia, too.
then in 2000 she had stage 4 breast cancer, which she survived even without chemo. then in 2003, she had a triple heart bypass and then kidney failure. the triple whammy necessitated her not having to travel so strenously anymore, so my uncle, who's a computer programmer, created an online business for her butterflies in ebay, to give her something to do and be productive with even while she stayed at home with her husband, to keep her from feeling depressed and useless.
after only a few months in a very promising ebay biz, he created the butterfly site for her. last august, i was asked to come in to do customer service. so i actually service all queries and process all orders from where i am, while my mom does the packing and shipping and my uncle does the financing and general administration.
my mom is my inspiration. she has been through a lot in life, and with less resources than i have but her optimism and never-say-die spirit is very inspiring. one time, she nagged her doctor to allow her to join this Mayo Clinic experiment for kidney patients. her doctor said, "but the chances are a one in a million!" and she said, "well, i could be that one in a million!" : D
she did go to the Mayo Clinic despite her doctor's protests, but she tested negative for what they were looking for. that's when she finally agreed to be put under dialysis, which she fought for so long. she used to bring this large medical book to her doctor when she would visit him, pointing out to him that according to the book, she only exhibited 4 of the 10 symptoms for needing to go into dialysis!!!
heheh. i think that the older i grow, the more i take after her. and i'm proud of it!!!
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