Small Minds

i am not good at--
clocking hours
showing up
just to be seen
but not heard;

sitting at my desk
twiddling my fingers
just to sign papers
and enforce rules
for enforcing rules' sake
even if it means
getting in the way
of getting things done;

attending
numbing "meetings"
the discussions of which
could be best appreciated
by reading their minutes;

sprinkling spicier chitchat
to already incendiary gossip,
kissing asses
and wiping them too.

i am smart enough
to recognize that
after four years
of trying to improve things
but getting blocked
every step of the way.


i've made meaningful headway
but i cannot stay
all the way.
so i want out
to move on.


but they act as if
i am being stupid,
for letting go
of a position
they'd fight to death
to keep.


they advise: "if onlys--"
i clock my hours
efficiently,
show up
just to show up,
follow the rules
to the letter
no questions asked,
focus on papers and reports
and not give people
more attention
than they deserve
(huh? aren't we in SERVICE?)--
i'd be fine!


a mindless
soul-less
kind of fine
that is.