Friday, January 14, 2005

Small Minds

i am not good at--
clocking hours
showing up
just to be seen
but not heard;

sitting at my desk
twiddling my fingers
just to sign papers
and enforce rules
for enforcing rules' sake
even if it means
getting in the way
of getting things done;

attending
numbing "meetings"
the discussions of which
could be best appreciated
by reading their minutes;

sprinkling spicier chitchat
to already incendiary gossip,
kissing asses
and wiping them too.

i am smart enough
to recognize that
after four years
of trying to improve things
but getting blocked
every step of the way.


i've made meaningful headway
but i cannot stay
all the way.
so i want out
to move on.


but they act as if
i am being stupid,
for letting go
of a position
they'd fight to death
to keep.


they advise: "if onlys--"
i clock my hours
efficiently,
show up
just to show up,
follow the rules
to the letter
no questions asked,
focus on papers and reports
and not give people
more attention
than they deserve
(huh? aren't we in SERVICE?)--
i'd be fine!


a mindless
soul-less
kind of fine
that is.



4 comments:

Timothy said...

You are a better person than me. No way would I put up with that. When feel like I am being pushed to conform, I push back and act out and rebel. Sometimes, it is not pretty, but hey, "I am what I am." I follow God's laws, not man's. You are right for leaving and if the others do not see that, then pray for them becuase they are blinded to their own stupidity. Karam says "3 more life times to try again."

Nine Lives said...

thanks, timmy.

don't say that-- i'm not a better person than you, or even they. just different. : ) maybe i'm more patient than you, more willing to give others a chance. and maybe you're just braver than i am, not putting up with BS the first time it rears its ugly head.

they're just different, too. they're happy with structure and rules and going on semi-automatic -- if not automatic-- thinking mode. obviously, i am not. :(

different folks, different strokes. i understand that. this poem was just my way of "pushing back" after a strenous morning at work where everybody offered their "condolences" for my decision.

condolences!!! : O

Timothy said...

One thing I can always count on with you, a lesson in using English correctly :-)Are you familur with the term "figure of speach?" Anyway, good for you and I feel good that this will help with your burn-out.

Nine Lives said...

i'm sorry you took it as "correction/lesson" again, timmy! it wasn't meant to be so. just offering another point of view.