Saturday, November 13, 2004

Sad Stories

*****

these stories started out as being told in a cheeky, sassy tone in my head, even with the title "Infantile Men, Foolish Women", but now they are just sad to me.

maybe it's my mood, or maybe it's the time (it's 3:30 a.m.!)... or maybe they are really sad.

i learned from a cousin yesterday who texted me that my sister told him that "the other woman" insisted on taking watch over my brother-in-law at the hospital in the mornings.

: O!


i immediately forwarded my cousin's message to my sister and texted my sister too: "when the choice has come down to between keeping your man and keeping your self-respect, isn't the choice clear? you owe it to your self and your children."

a little while later, because i felt i had to say my piece still, i forwarded my cousin's text to my brother-in-law too and then texted him with my own message: "no matter what transpired between you and my sister, you still owe the mother of your children and your own children RESPECT. im sure you are man enough to put your foot down when enough is enough."

of course my brother-in-law didn't reply but i thought i'd just give him something to think about.

but my sister texted back to say that she will handle it her self and that be assured that God is working, and to give her husband all the love and support that he needs, blah blah, etc.

okay.

i told her still: "well, when people give you garbage, nice doesn't work. and the love you have to give should be tough."

in the end, she thanked me for my passionate love for and protectiveness of her and i told her i just won't let people treat her like that.

we ended with a joke, my own little bad joke-- i said, "uh-oh..... i just realized.... i told him to be man enough to put his foot down.... i forgot he only has one foot now!!!"

that was supposed to be the cheeky part.


*****

the other day, i was feeling so tired and harassed, that i went out to the cafe in front of our university and bought my self some cold mochaccino.... then i read this flyer about some discount by the spa upstairs so i went up and signed my self in for a two-hour aromatherapeutic massage.

anyway, as the massage session went on, the massage lady tried to make small talk and as is wont with women, we got to talking about the men in our lives. well i didnt really talk about my men (what men?) but when i told her i was separated and she asked me how that happened and i told her i just decided i didn't want to take garbage i do not deserve anymore, she told me this story:

she has neighbors who live in a weird set-up. the man, his wife, and the other woman all live together in one house, with all the children.

: O!

i said how come? she said it's because the man lost his work, the wife just stays at home to take care of the house and the kids, and the other woman works to support them all.

: O! :O!

then we got to discussing how people could get into situations like these, how sooo very low self-respect has fallen, that the women had to settle for this in the first place.

my masseuse said it's both funny and sad-- one time she saw the family going to church. the man drove their tricycle while the children rode in the sidecar attached to the tricycle. the other woman rode by the back of the man in the tricycle, while the wife WALKED to church.

and they all go to church like this religiously, every Sunday.

:O! :O! :O!

the fact that they even go to church, and together at that, is the funniest of all for me.

*****

of course, i know it is never any one's place to judge what other people do. people have their reasons, always, and they always believe they're doing the best that they can.

considering that i let my self stay up late to talk to a suspected pedophile for two months i should even say, "look who's talking" huh.

but i try to learn, always. from my own experiences and other people's.

and right now, it just makes me all sad.

it's all so simple to me: when you love, give it all you've got, be honest, be open, but be self-respecting most of all.

but why is it that people who love like this get paired up with people who are not as sincere in the first place?

sometimes, i am beginning to think that the world really sucks, that all people (all men?) are really just out to screw other people around.

maybe it does.

but i refuse to give up. if i think that way, too, i will really start to die and my spirit will shrivel up.

maybe i will just stay away from the game for a while. for a very looooong while.

hmmm.

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